The Flying President – A Rejoinder & Response to Tony Ishiekwene
By
Ime Udombang
First of all, I am willing to wear the hat if I fit what you call "misguided and mischievous critic" if, you agree to give this so-called speech of yours anywhere of your choice in the Niger Delta. In fact, I will provide you with a podium, microphone and red carpet but you are responsible for your own helmet and body armor.
Your rejoinder to The "Flying President" (http://nigeriaworld.com/articles/2002/sep/091.html) was the most disgusting, myopic, tart and unsavory piece of reasoning I have ever read in my entire life. Which one you dey?
Abi you drink gum? Let me break it down.
Personal Jealousy
Why would anyone be jealous of the performance or the person of OBJ? What in his performance or personality has anyone to be jealous about? In the entire time OBJ has presided over the affairs of Nigeria, what positive landmark accomplishment has he achieved?
In all aspects of our daily lives we have been taking fantabulous steps backward. Nothing, I repeat nothing has improved. More Nigerians are at the brink of respective precipices than ever before. A further step and into the abyss they go.
With his combative utterances and nonchalant kampeism how can you tell me or any other Nigerian that OBJ has the welfare of this nation at heart? Please rethink your allegiance. He has refused to dance to the tune of the pipers playing the music orchestrated for him and he has ignored the will of the people who believed in him and supported his candidacy. There is general outrage in the land and we are making them known.
Air OBJ
Yes my brother, I am also questioning OBJ’s propensity to go airborne at a moments notice. Comparing his aptitude for travel with Tony Blair of UK is akin to comparing apples to oranges. Tony Blair flies hither and yon with a stable and cohesive country intact while OBJ leaves with a house in a mess and returns to meet the house in a mess.
OBJ, somewhat insulated from national chaos, cocooned at The Rock with a steady stream of what it takes to make life comfortable, thinks all is well in Nigeria. When he travels within the country, walls are washed and the routes that his itinerary channels him through are hurriedly cleaned, painted and polished with the commensurate respect his office entails.
I can see why he thinks all is well. I therefore blame ALL the cleaners, painters and polishers for their folly. A great chunk of his presidency HAS been spent via air in places far and foreign. A WHOLE SOLID YEAR WHEN YOU ADD A DAY HERE, TWO DAYS THERE.
Why the heck is he gone so much? Let us count the ways.
Debt Forgiveness
I stand on my podium and scream to the world NOT to forgive Nigeria ONE RED PENNY, CENT OR KOBO. Gather all the monies looted by Abacha et. al., and hand them over to who we owe, and that is the end of the palaver. SSS, DSI and NIA have very long arms indeed. Better yet, hire Buhari and sick him on Babangida and I guarantee you will get immediate results. Buhari has the will and incentive not to talk about an axe to grind. In the process, make a deal with him to forgive him for the grief he occasioned on the nation and his debt will be paid to society. After all is said and done, if money remain, good. If debt still dey, have the debtors stand in line.
Attracting Foreign Investment
In a society that has progressed into lawlessness by geometric progression, occasioned by the steady and deliberate destruction meted out by uneducated feudal minded fiends that have no clue how to govern, no clue on economics, no clue banking, no clue of diplomacy and no love for country but trained to kill, who then graduated to looting and then to the art of plunder, murder and destruction; who’s citizens camp out at foreign embassies for a way out; dare the mighty Sahara desert to get in their way; duck and dodge on their way onward to the Mediterranean; back stroke, butterfly, free style, dog paddle or stow away just to get across it and, if successful, land in Italy or Spain just to count their blessings that at least they can get a job in someone’s hot kitchen or hotel as a maid, busboy, or dishwasher. All the way, borrowing Malcolm X’s axiom "by any means necessary", carrying it like a flag in their hearts. Chei!
In a society where the Grandest Looter the nation (and possibly Africa) has ever set eyes on is walking tall and living large and is more sacred than the cows in India.
In a society that monikers itself as the "Giant and Oga Pata Pata" of Africa but no fit make enough garri to chop.
A country that in the 21st century hasn’t figured out a way to allow its citizens to respectfully retire the Lantern.
A country whose delta area is the nest of the goose that lays the golden egg but is the most wretched and underprivileged spot in the nation.
A country that sticks its chest out in peacock pose as it marches back in time to the medieval era while fat cats and sacred cows bask in the twilight. A country wey no fit even manufacture grenade. How did Biafra manufacture cruise missiles? Hmmm.
Mr. Tony Ishiekwene, (forgive me-o if I forget any alphabet or title before your name-o) this is what all the hullabaloo is about when we scream and shout about OBJ and his usage of the largest airline in Nigeria (di presidential jet) in pursuit of the foreign investment pipe dream. You think the world is going to fall for this pipe dream? this most original of 419? Cockroach no dey ask question when im see im bretheren de run comot from darkness into light.
Repairing Nigeria’s Tarnished Image Abroad
What Image? Corruption, 419, poverty, abi na hopelessness? Air OBJ needs to be grounded. We no need to smile in front of foreigners to inform them that we good-oooo!
This job can be done on the ground. And in 3 years (one year of which has been spent out of country) the job is yet to begin. So, instead of telling THE WORLD that we are now good, we have to show them. We have to put our house in order. We have to put the crooks behind bars. What we have to do, post haste in repairing "Nigeria’s Tarnished Image Abroad" is to get our infrastructure fixed, respect the Rule of Law and repeal all the frivolous decrees and laws that are inherently detrimental to the people.
I don talk finish. My Eba dey wait. You don ever try warm fofo for microwave?
Ime Udombang ime@crossrivergroup.com