Ndụbụeze Godson III
Since the news of Professor know nothing, the “Nutty Professor,” Dr. Fabian Osuji’s travail broke I have asked myself over and again how stupid could someone in such a high position be to not realize what extortion is. He did not know an organ of government that ought to be responsible and not demand for payments before the Ministry’s budget is approved was shaking him down? Yet this is a Prof like in Professor? Unbelievable! Don’t even give me that don’t say this, don’t say that, change the lyrics everybody is a critic and it’s getting kinda hectic. Know why? My rhyme is authentic and I’ve got the power/right.
Before I proceed further, let me clear the air by saying this essay is not a show of support for Osuji so do not let the caption deceive ya. I will not be making a case for him, no way. What the heck do I care! What good is Osuji for the Igbo to deserve any defense? Fool me once, joke on you but twice then on me. This very piece is sautéed with humanitarian aroma for scholarship to easily dissect how and where a detour was made by the actors. Most pundits already posited that the paltry sum of 55 million naira he paid out so that the corrupt “Sinators” and their colleagues in the House of Assembling Ghana-Must-Go bags could pass his Ministry’s budget pales in comparison with the billions and trillions the master thieves, Tafa Balogun and Tony Anineh stole yet Obasanjo made hoopla out of this. The temptation to inject geography here will be resisted although it definitely can’t be discounted, it’s there.
Take for instance, the admirals from the western part that were implicated in the “disappearance” of the oil bunkering/stealing ships were merely retired even when their official and original retirement dates was around the corner. A tap on the wrist if you ask me but who will? Another example was AIG Raphael Ige who was reluctantly retired instead of a full trial and imprisonment after his treasonable adoption of Chris Ngige, a sitting governor, whom I don’t care for anyway. Here is yet another instance, the cat and mouse game Obasanjo engaged with that cloned Idi Amin, the disgraced beer guts IG, Balogun. Is his arrest coming? Do the doubting Thomases out there still not see a pattern emerging? Like I said, I will stick to my promise not to make any case for Osuji. He asked for it and guess what he got, his wish, a ride on the tiger’s tail. Joke aside, in my village during the war Balogun lookalikes were easily picked each time there was overnight case of farm or kitchen raid by “ndi oji abali aga” – night marauders and he in fact is one as we found out.
Now, let me justify my use of stupid to qualify among all people, a Professor in education of all things. This Professor without common sense should have done what I did during the period of my relocation in that dangerous land. There are these annoying habits most Nigerians have, always into looking for company materials to sell. While working for an oil servicing company on one occasion, with my notable coverall on since I just came back from the flow station, I bounced on some congregated fellas acting suspiciously. My warning was quick. It was made very clear that whatever they were up to better not be mischievous because guess what, the Italian MD will be told by guess who, me. Check their response, “dis oga sef.” To myself I said what a hell! I hate when people do stuff like that, steal any and everything they lay their sights and hands on. Just look at the bridge railings, NEPA copper cables, street lighting fixtures so on are stolen as fast as they are installed without the slightest care. How long before Nigerians grow out of this primitiveness?
Back to your Professor, what he should have done was a quick trip to the emperor to alert him to the ugly situation about to unfold. I am sure he would have drooled over a chance to nail the corrupt “Sedators.” Immediately the scammers (Adolphus Nwagbara, Chris Adighije, John Mbata - I know his father, very religious I don’t know what happened to his son. Continuing; Ibrahim Abdulaziz, Shehu Matazu, Badamasi Maccido and last but certainly not least, Emmanuel Okpede) informed and or demanded for this illegal payoff, Osuji ought to have increased his pace on his way to oga’s house, there he would begin with, oga see me trouble o! These thiefs won make I pay dem bifo dem go gif me my Ministry moni o! And knowing OBJ, he would thus go, ah, ah oti o! Abi na craze dey wori dem fools, ngbo? After which he would order this Minister to go back and play along, to make sure it is recorded. Finally, Obasanjo would say to him, oya comot! This is all he needed to do. No doubt it would have garnered him support from the emperor especially when it concerns his nemesis, the Assemblers of cash bags. The momentum this would have generated would have secured a favorable spot for him in the Presidency, an advantage. He instead acted like a village tout that never saw the four walls of college. Na waa Prof!
His failure to exercise good judgment and tell all, I mean everything caused his camel walk to come to a screeching halt on a cold floor with cold sweat (Papa JB - James Brown). His futile effort to save Nwagbara and cronies’ asses caused his meager reputation to spiral out of bounds. Why even shield those that never used their influence to rescue you from the silly demand for payment before a budget that does not go to you per se is passed? Where were these brothers of his who connived with others to shake him down into parting with millions for their selfish use? See, this is why a prudent decision to hop, jump, limp, somersault or however you can to the President to lodge a report just in case Onitsha “gwalụ” Obosi (gwalụ - told) or is it “O” gwalụ “O?” (lol). Take it light. This writer would not have struggled for a microsecond to make a mad dash to relay this to the President who in actual sense is Osuji’s employer. If Nwagbara and company never used their power to stop the blackmail in its infancy, planning stage, why then should Osuji not tell? Huh? Answer pleeeeeeease! Would he not have been absolved of any blame had he done so?
Should any loose nuts had it been me approached after my revelation (ratting out Nwagbara & co.), I will not so politely remind the yam head that the same ‘brother’ of his never did squawk when I was being harassed into committing a crime. So take your whine somewhere else. That would definitely be my response. Anyone that has followed my drive will tell ya, I am hardly a fan of their President, Obasanjo but he hit the bull’s eye on this one. I support him fully this time. He needs to push on though this is not enough. He must maintain the offensive, Igbo Yoruba, Hausa, Arabs, Ibibio, Rivers, Bini makes no damn difference. Oh, when the wrongs are righted and things begin to shape up, then Obasanjo would be Mr. President but for now, no. From all indications, one could tell, Osuji is a somewhat straight guy my annoyance however, is with his foolishness to have entertained such crude request from established rogues, Nwagbara and company who perambulate about Abuja in search of a naïve victim to shakedown.
Here is another atrocious nonsense by the dumb Professor; he has since gone to court charging among other stuffs that his firing was political. My question to him is simple, wasn’t his hiring political too or was it religious, maybe accidental? Chrrrrrist! Hear him, "The dismissal via a national broadcast and proclaiming him guilty without an opportunity to be heard is prejudicial and act of political victimization." What a croc! Absolute crap! This man did not do the only honorable thing left by resigning his appointment after his folly blew open but now he wants the courts to determine whether or not his President has the right to kick him out to the elements. Was his hiring precipitated on the decision of the court is my next question to this still dazed sixty-three year old clueless? Wasn’t his hiring also announced on TV? Did I hear a yes? So what’s the big deal with the broadcast thing? Funny that a Professor in Nigeria still thinks the courts are legit whereas the decision by their Supreme Court to release the funds of local governments in Lagos State is still being flaunted by you guessed right, the emperor whose damnation for the judiciary begs for action; an impeachable deed that flew by the efulefu - worthless Assembly and “Sinate” members. Hellooo! Anyone out there?
It sure is beginning to look like the more education Nigerians get the more stupid they become. Need proof, go back to recent news and stuff. We have Ph.Ds, example, Omoruiyi that fully backs military and all nonsense for monthly crumblets. Osuji never abdicated his office even after he was jacked up and thrown into detention be it for half an hour instead the alika – lizard strutted to a seminar that was held a day after his temporary release as guest of honor(?) as if nothing, nothing. Haba!! What happened to shame and pride? Here is one of my darling father’s popular saying, “nme gbụ eme gbụrụ dike ka ogbugbu e gburu ya” - the embarrassment of a warrior is worst than his execution. I can’t seem to make sense of how a supposed education Professor that had been implicated in both acts of immorality and illegality behaved like a toddler on sugar for the first time and with that excitement hopped to a petty show just hours after his freedom was secured to make a fool of himself there. Did he not know that Obasanjo rightfully expected a resignation note from him on his own volition? Should Obasanjo be faulted again for Osuji’s blunder? I don’t think so! C’mon people let’s be honest here.
I have in the past remained resolute with my counsel to youngsters to stay in school, but with the mountain of follies out of our educated ones I don’t see how I can in the future look someone in the face and talk about education. Honestly! Didn’t majority with litany of degrees turn out pretty bad already? You can’t believe what the Minister called his venality, “public relations lobby fund.” Professor, sound people call what you did precisely by its name, B.R.I.B.E! If you insist let me then tell you what a Public Relations (PR) entails, the use of media; print, broadcast or registered lobbyists even both with no direct or indirect exchange of money to the “Sedators” and their counterparts to make case for your Ministry why it needs more funds from the federation account. We will now take a hard look at our Ph.Ds that dropped the ball, the education gurus minus the native dokintas and the awardees I guess:
Dr. Fabian Osuji – Minister of Education. (Can you believe?)
Dr. B. Ibe – Director Planning, Research and Statistics. (Maybe “B” for bribe?)
Dr. P.S. Abdu – Permanent Secretary. (Stop the joke nothing is permanent)
Dr. Peter Okebukola – Executive Secretary National Universities Commission.
Dr. Shehu Matazu – Education Chairman. (Honorably addressed? Is he a Ph. D too?)
In a way I do feel for these guys but when I think about the naughtiness of the whole thing that feeling dissipates. Is this me or what, imagine the quality of people that were present where adulterated junk was discussed still none had enough intelligence to yell, wait a minute, wait just a moment damn it, why should we be blackmailed into making illegal payments for something that will benefit their wards, relatives and scions too? They could have also bluffed these gang banging “Sinators” or better yet, followed what I proffered earlier by going together to Obasanjo or the dreaded Economic and Financial Crime Commission - EFCC and its toothless lesser partner Independent Corrupt Practices Commission – ICPC to harmonize plans that would catch these thieves in the act. I would! Where is the education in all these? Someone should please rescue me with an answer. Lord! It is becoming clearer now why disturbing number of students under their care are catapulted out of schools nowadays with let my people go diplomas that mean nada/nothing. Can’t defend! These ‘educationists’ are the reason why students these days buy their way through schools. An outrage can be said to have happened here, folks. I also see how it has become easy for our Professors, the Doctors of letters to sit back and let the illiterate military juntas endlessly close schools because none of these fakes have good sense.
As today’s interactive session ends I will like to caution that the fight to wrestle corruption to the ground should not be limited to any particular group or persons. Let the effect be total with all hamlets and conclaves feeling the heat, away with the lopsided enforcement of laws in Nigeria. Osuji, as the protagonist of this messy affair should as a matter of honor accept the outcome and stop his late embarrassing antics. He should simply fade quietly and for the good of the order. I am not too sure the Prof knows, but common sense is never common. My remaining seconds will now be used to say to Obasanjo, sir, please go on and throttle up! Good job!