Letter to Professors of Thieving Technology; More of Nigeria’s Educational Mess: A Satire

By

Prince Charles Dickson

Pcdbooks@yahoo.com

Jos Plateau, Nigeria

Professor Osuji, Professor Njoku, Professor Okebukola, and Professor Prince Charles (I beg I’ll rather remain without the title Professor than to be one amongst such characters).

After disgracing the academic community the sixty-something year old man fell sick, I have never wished anyone dead but I do not think many people would miss the man if he chose to die.

Act one, scene one; You spent days in detention, a whole Minister, made your confessions, blamed the devil you have never seen and assisted the Economic and Financial Crimes Commission in her investigation of the 55 million Naira Bribery mess.

Scene two; you are released, shamelessly, you start telling the world how you had been requested by men from Aso Rock to bribe you way through to be a Minister. You claimed they requested a million and eventually bargained to 400 hundred thousand Naira. Why did you wait till now to tell us this besides it only shows that ‘no be today e don tay’ meaning you have been in this game for quite sometime you know how it works. You must have been a ‘sorting professor’. See how you have discredited the ivory towers white bearded men.

Scene three: you claimed this was persecution, blackmail, trial, and what not…because you are an Atiku’s boy. You be bushman at 60 you still be person boy. Well bad news as even Atiku don deny you. I am sure Atiku is ashamed of you…na 55 ordinary 55 million Naira you mate dey take spoil dem name.

Scene four: before mosquitoes could bite you, you fell sick, ole man that means you wont survive Kirikiri Maximum Prisons as you should know dem go catch you. Faking illness to buy time, my dear Professor the Igbo nation is ashamed of you.

Scene five: if you hace not goofed enough, you took the Federal Government to court. NA WA! For what? For catching you bribe. Even if you are being ‘scapegoated’, be rest assured you are not alone Tafa Balogun and others are with you their rod and staff so fear not. I pray you go to jail to serve as a deterrent.

Dearest Prof. you are a disgrace to you children. Trust Obj quickly they pursued your family from the official residence. You should have learned the ropes from politicians. Steal, but never be caught, rule number three of a guide to politics in Nigeria.

Act two, scene one: crazeman, Professor Peter Okebukola, after the fine work the man been dey try do for National Universities Commission, a job one would have commended you. You spoilt it with your hand, if that was not bad enough you started lying that all you did was to lend the former Honourable Minister money, you be fool, you lent your parent Ministry 20million Naira as wetin…Central Bank or First Bank. If it was that easy you should have learnt striking university dons the money to assist their families.

Scene two: Professor Peter, you funny, which kind 20million emergency fund for Suleja Academy…so NUC had 20 million Naira and together with your thieving professor Minister you told ASUU to go to hell and in alliance with the government preached no work no pay. So this is what the money was meant for. Why wait and protest some yeye innocence. Resign! With your integrity intact, to be Executive Secretary of NUC no be by force.

Act three, scene one: Professor Njoku, unfortunately with your recent statement that you signed the EFCC statements under duress. You have established you are the biggest fool in recent times amongst many a professors one has seen. To imagine you are a Vice Chancellor is a disgrace to your University and the committee of Vice Chancellors. With all the books you read to become a professor and that you are charge de affair of a university and you fell for cheap blackmail. One must ask if you schooled in the night, morning or are you qualifications ‘torontolized or chicagoed’. Pity is what I feel for you. Even the 10million Naira you gave Matazu, the man don deny you im no know you again. Infact he said he saw you last in 1999. I wonder where you interest lay to have committed your school’s money to this corporate bribe venture and painfully you had been telling the institution’s whole community about the lack of funds.

Epilogue; as the drama is being staged, the prospects of part 2,3 and 4 is there. One cannot but wonder why these learned men have given the President the opportunity to disgrace the academia, a sector the man never has liked, a sector he has never hidden his hatred for.

Obasanjo has been vindicated, as he once said these lecturers are nothing but morally loose vampires. Amazingly the same NUC chief who accused his colleagues of ‘sorting’ has been fingered in a high ‘sorting drama’.

Our educational sector is witnessing decay and rot at the speed of a tsunami, when a university would have 21 of her courses banned, how many will be remaining, what is happening? Answer: sharing of the money meant for development of the sector.

Very soon there may be no graduates in Nigeria, our educational mess from producing B.Sc. holders in corruption to the Professors of the act itself. May God help us.