ByNdubụeze Godson III
Each time people write about Nigeria as if the damn place is extension of heaven I pinch myself for reassurance I’m not dreaming; after, which the culprits are immediately classified as either corrupt, held hostage by lies or what the politically correct may term clueless. Those suffering afore mentioned should no longer be seen as spitting what are generally known in Caucasian community as “white lies.” Theirs have since fallen under disease classification and for that reason their doctors should treat them as such when attending to their malaria, typhoid, yellow-fever or swollen tummies ailments. When these liars are not defending the obscene riches of a compromised IG of police or any other thief who stole public monies at our expense, they make mountain of excuses for every despot that have passed through power in Nigeria including the all time godfather, Obasanjo. Before I continue, let me pause o’jare to acknowledge the good folks out there who might have wondered where the hell I have been, there’s nada; no big thing happening. I dey kempe (sorry OBJ), just been in ROMland firing serious rebuttals behind the scene while the sincere writers get many thanks from me, that’s all.
Despite these obfuscators facades to appear distinguished I can sense them from oceans away. These clowns are not different from their counterparts living in Africa if one looks hard, their lucky escape to a better life in western hemispheres did not make much of a dint. Robbers they are! While they attempt their inefficient awkward maneuver to sell Nigeria to outside world they remain perpetually outside her shores with their families, an inanity that is not hard to uncover. Their refusal to migrate back to their country of origin they deem ‘heavenly’ is a source for concern, any reason for that? They emigrate from heaven? There is something disturbingly similar between these undemocratic paid agents of the Nigerian government and those I see whenever I find the courage to visit that groundnut country that was dubbed the most corrupt on the face of earth. Both have dangerous attitudes with the penchant to do just about anything for pennies. There are no ifs, buts, nays about this; a presumed honest fella never defends a shameless crook unless he is severely down and out himself, in other words, a bandit. Birds of same feather? Those with affinity for attention to details are aware that most times these thieves with their showy loot (usually stolen vehicles and stuff), careen down what used to be motorable streets unmindful it was their brazen thievery that turned it into gullies.
Whenever I see them galloping down a gully I marvel and laugh at their foolishness on the basis the undulated eroded dusty way they ply in most cases is merely suitable for the good old trekking. Had they utilized good sense to fix and provide quality roads as well as excellent healthcare facilities, they (political crooks and their minions) in the long run would be the beneficiaries not those on “Foot-O-Four/Foot-Run.” Their utopian blindness caused the reality that the hikers whose sufferings reached epic height more than twenty-five odd years ago are not loosing much on this one. My bosom friend/in-law from Okirika puts it this way; what sense is there for a nation to be more civilized with most things working properly during infancy (60s) than now, forty years later? How could the numerous “One Nigerianists” explain that, huh, huh? As humans, you are looked upon to improve as you grow and once you fail to meet this simple natural expectation, you are deemed a fool at forty, which is exactly what Nigeria is; big FOOL at FORTY something! OLUKU!
Who amongst you is so compromised to be upset over the failure of that corrupt nation to con the world in securing free money or is it debt relief yet again? Is your weenie cry out of genuine concern for the ordinary citizens in that banana republic or about the income that would have accrued from this dash that you already relied on to continue pandering to the whims of the wicked thieves? Count me as throwing my weight in support that Nigeria does not deserve any debt forgiveness neither does she deserve a seat in the U.N. Security Council. Full stop! The idea to ask for a waiver knowing what was done to the monies that was borrowed in the first place for the benefits of the ordinary folks, but instead was embezzled by the stealing fathers, uncles, in-laws and so on of these noisemakers is nothing short of mad cow (lol) disease. To them, those fellas acting more catholic than the Pope, those aggrieved by this refusal to forgo overdue debt, I say jump right into the ocean or the volcano. Will you? I give benefit of doubt by remaining open most times, but will nonetheless react accordingly when an idea or a piece makes no sense. With me, there is zero doubt as to who give succor to every successive Nigerian tyrant; the self-acclaimed academic daredevils are their biggest cheerleaders with those insincere accolades. To the extent the dictators start to believe these bogus hypes.
I have the feelings all democratic nations and peoples are having a good belly-laugh for that aberrant request absence of genuine peoples’ oriented programs by the Nigerian government. With cap-in-hand they shamelessly got down on their knees to beg for debt forgiveness despite the country’s oil wealth? To put it mildly my dear, such dumb request was an affront on every reasonable Nigerian. What is not known as they and their agents whine, twitch, toss and turn are, how many of these crook lovers when it comes down to it are willing to let off hook someone they loaned say, five grand ($5000) for medical use who instead displayed crass to selfishly go on spending spree to buy designers’ outfits? How about asking a bank to forgo a loan after the fund was misused for an outlandish owambe worth tens of thousands of dollars? To further rub more insult to the debt, how about forgoing a loan after the loanee went out and buys the newest Bentley or any other junk for all I care, would you let go your money in this scenario? Not! A favor will you then please? Abort the ridiculous finger pointing and the blame game and pay your debt! Gentlemen or in this case responsible government will meet their obligations others MUST! I still do not understand how it zoomed by these apologists that Obasanjo is the “wrongest” dude to be making this type of plea considering his numerous anti-democratic treacheries that could easily be summed up in one word, CORRUPTION.
Now, there is as a matter of fact something they know Nigeria merits that have been generously given, the MOST corrupt country in the entire universe. For now, this should be it until more categories like the most primitive is added, then she may well fall within the new scope to win it uncontested for sure. Sometimes ago, I threw a challenge to the bemused who defend thievery, to tell the world just one thing good about the geographic expression they pretend to care for, Nigeria and after many, many months passed, not even a feeble moan is heard. Yet these shameless folks write as if Nigerians or the world are stupid unaware the joke is on them. You have people who ordinarily deserve the starving artist’s appellation yet they append some bloated titles just to look important as they tell us how not to embarrass Nigeria or be ungrateful. Did they fail to see it the other way around that Nigeria is a thorn on the backsides of every decent person who somehow still finds that green stuff they call passport within his/her surroundings especially on an international trip? Have these fakes wondered why this is so, why the sight of their passport arouses unnecessary suspicion? The customs and immigration officers at these airports too have long figured out that Nigeria’s so-called educated elites are the worst offenders when it comes to stealing, embezzling, murdering, lying, cheating, forging, raping you name it!! To them, if the “educated” ones are submerged in corruption, what hope is there for the masses? Why should the commoners be treated with any modicum of respect when these foreign authorities know our rich and educated stole themselves silly and are therefore responsible for the humiliations we suffer?
Another matter that ought to be taken seriously by the Nigerian people is this thing called resource control. Any prepared mind could easily guess where I stand when it comes to this agitation and demand by the Niger Deltans to control their gift from God. I am super solidly behind them as I would any other region/state that finds whatever under or above their soils. I can’t get simpler than this. To satisfy the inquiry minds, there are zero oil fields in my family’s plot, no gold or any other minerals still it should not prevent from being fair on matters like such. Truth never disappoints only lies do. A typical wicked, idealess, Nigerian when confronted with the reality that the oil producing states/areas are being stifled out of their God given commodity with the obscene paltry 13% derivation nonsense would resort to another mumbling crap about what have they done with the little, very minuscule amount the robbers see as much allocated to them.
I guess fair is fair, right? He who comes to equity they say must come with clean hands such therefore as asking Nigerians the same question they ask the oppressed people of Niger Delta. Going by their (the wicked) own paradigm one wonders what their successive Nigerian governments used the accrued $400 billion from the natural resources they steal from the Niger Delta area for? How can one’s conscience elude him to kick against the demand by the owners of the commodity to derive a miserly 25% out of the 100% of the same bandits in government are stealing? For the longest time I have not been paying mind to pleasantries directed at me, I instead watch every action carefully. The oppressed brothers from Niger Delta too should do similarly, when in doubt refer to William Shakespeare’s; “There is no art of a man to bear the mind’s construction on the face.” Talk they say is so cheap even a month-old baby mumbles some nonsense also. This brings me to the he-goat who expressed his sentiments thus; although he is dragged to the market on a leash, he is after all spotting a goatee too therefore should be treated as a gentleman he is.
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