But something deep inside tells me that this may be another example of men behaving badly, just like we all did in our days of ‘ignorance’. There are some risks, or danger in ticking women off, as if on a shopping list, we can’t expect to eat our cake and still hope to find it later in the fridge. Sabella after stating the reasons why none of his four women will make the ultimate wife for him throws in the icing on the cake by saying that, ‘The ability to engage in hallucinogenic sex would be a bonus!’ Well, I am sure there will be lots of women out there who will love to hear this, and who may be interested in being Sabella’s wife, so please, if you are reading this and you know anyone, kindly pass on their details to him, but please just don’t forward the names of any of my friends, sisters or cousins.

This is not personal against Sabella, but from the part of Africa where we are from, there are still some levels of decency and morality left, though they may be remnants. Sabella writes that he has been divorced now for eight years, but I am wondering if maybe he is not already brewing for himself another recipe for disaster if we are to go partly by his expectations from a potential wife, I also wonder how great my brother’s libido will be and how flexible his waist will be in the coming years, when the engines which have been working overtime start to slow down, and he can no longer indulge actively, what will be the fate of the woman then?  Meanwhile, I would love to know how these four women thanked Brother Sabella for this ‘kiss and tell’ expose. Did they come back begging for more?

I belong to the old school, such that my sojourn abroad hasn’t taken away my taste for Onubu (bitter leaf soup), the type that my mum cooks with ogiri (a native spice) ede (cocoyam), okporoko (stockfish) and ukwu nama (cow leg), argue it anyway you like but I don’t believe that any male cook anywhere, not even those pretenders and regular winners of Maggi national cooking competitions in Nigeria can cook bitter leaf soup better than an Igbo woman, and so I wasn’t ever in doubt where my wife was going to come from. And so when I read my brother Sabella’s other piece titled why do African men go home to marry?, I not only chuckled but also wondered aloud if maybe Brother Sabella is not slowly carving a niche for himself as an authority and avid writer on issues relating to Nigerian wives, husbands and marriages. This assumption is supported by Sabella’s other writings, for example Nigerian men and their foreign wives, The problem with African men and The problem with single African women. I honestly don’t think that my brother, Sabella is doing himself any favours amongst Nigeria’s many singletons; he appears to be seriously on their case; rightly or wrongly.

In response to Sabella’s question of why brothers go back home to marry, well, I can only say that it may be in conformity with their plans for the future, some of us don’t particularly want to retire in Europe and America, if we all do, then who will drink those freshly tapped palm wine in our villages?.

I believe in the law of natural selection, that like attracts like, my friend Precious Osuala would argue that water will always find its level, As I understand it, there are advantages, and disadvantages of marrying a Nigerian wife or an Oyibo wife, but it is just about a question of choosing the lesser ‘evil’ (apologies to the women). Some of us saw the light a long time ago, how our relatives that studied in Europe and America in the 50s and 60s came back to Nigeria with their degrees and foreign wives, most of these women have since gone back to their countries, and the men? Well, the brave ones have since re-married while the rest are still walking about with sullen and sunken faces, plus the broken hearts, this obviously is not the situation that one wants to find himself when the sun sets.