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Nigeria and Magic Numbers: (A Sober Comic Reflection) By Prince Charles Dickson Jos, Plateau Nigeria
In Nigeria 1 plus 1 plus 1 equal four, depending on the circumstance it could even be 2. An error of statistics indeed! In the last one year, miracle is the best word to describe the war of figures that has ravaged Nigeria, all because we find ourselves in the unenviavable position of being governed by a collection of crooks.
Nigeria has approximately 1,190 NGO’s and CSO’s working on the HIV/ AIDS epidemic yet the scourge is taking gigantic steps with the population of infected people growing by the day, the nation has the third highest number of people living with the scourge, with some 3.8 million living with AIDS and 2.8million having died, 0.3 million cases are recorded annually of which 80,000 are newborns.
As of September 2005, 2 billion Naira had been released by the Federal Government for poverty reduction to NAPEP (The National Poverty Eradication Programme) but like the PAP (Poverty Alleviation Programme) before it, it has only been a change of nomenclature. Nigerians are dying in their dozens daily of poverty, because these monies would be shared by wolves called leaders.
Today as I reflect, it is terrible for the educational sector the nation has a total of 76 universities, 25 state, 26 federal and 23 private ones and more are still on the offing. Yet schools are battling over admission, exam malpractice, admission racketeering, poor graduate quality, non-challant teacher attitude, poor infrastructure and ‘dead’ teaching environment. The lists of problems in that sector are unimaginable. And we are told to encourage a reform. What manner of reform?
In 2004 alone Presidential tours gulped N1, 343,278,718, in 2005 that figure increased by 261% to N2, 896,690,427. Maintenance of the President Estate is costing the nation N4,044,675,170 an increase of 234% from last year’s figure of N1,730,403,540.
Hospitality and entertainment in the Presidency alone cost N 750,803,667, in 2004 and this year, has risen by 257%.
The Presidential Air fleet costs Nigeria, N1,494,256,412 this year. N49.9 million was spent last year on international travel by the Ministry of Finance, this year it’s already nearing the N100 million mark out of the N129,198,244 budgeted.
One fraudulent body called the Extractive Industry Transparency International (EITI) got N250 million from the Presidency and a further N500 million from the Ministry of Finance. This is mind-blowing given the fact that this body in supposedly an NGO sort of.
Last year the Presidency spent a whopping N9, 553,674,231. The National Assembly has spent N28, 135,866,187. And somebody is whispering that I take it softly, softly. At this point I just only sing the old song “I remember when Obj was an animal” because only an animal would go on such reckless spending without recourse to the ordinary man.
Only political terrorists would under this circumstance still tell Nigerians jargons on subsidy, deregulation and privatization.
In one State N275 million was spent in purchasing bullet proof vehicles, a State we are told had enjoyed relative peace. And we think this is not madness.
Last August following the extended meeting of tax experts (fools), Nigerians were informed of a 100% increase in value Added Tax (VAT) from 5%. Magic numbers you say. Lagos alone contributes 57% of VAT collected annually. Yet receives only 7% from the purse. Every thing in our nation is on the increase, fuel, food, VAT, RAT, BAT and everything.
Yet for six years, check out the list, Tax Reform Bill, Petroleum Tax Act, Education Tax Act and Personal Income Tax. Is this country really going to survive this madness which our thieves have put us into? Magic figures.
N132 billion has been spent on fuel subsidy, yet fuel has been increased like rain in the Amazon forests.
Magic figures! The Federal ‘thieving’ Government that devil has bestowed us with it as usual has introduced the N1000 note…They say the notes would bring convenience and ease cash transaction for thieving purposes (for the crook like themselves). At least the Pounds, Euros, and Dollars would loose the fancy. Ease and convenience my foot. The lower denomination would still be in circulation- how? I do not know how, when one hardly sees the N5 note again. Nigeria is irritating.
It cost about N936, 194,000 i.e. 5,982,000 Euros to print 120 million pieces of the N1,000 notes (If only each Nigerian would be given one). This is not even the matter, but how does one explain that our currency is printed in Spain, infact the money was still being expected from Spain. Magic!
Although somehow while the currency is being expected some privileged ‘thieves’ have received ‘complimentary copies’. I actually saw one. What exactly is the job of the nation’s minting company when the nation’s currency has to be printed abroad, when De la Rue of Spain will submit a better bid? Na wa!
One plus two equals four. Only in Nigeria, you get a debt relief of $18 billion but the nation’s treasury would still be short-changed by $12 billion. Already we have started borrowing again. Figures! A Nigerian is not assured more than 43.4 years. It would soon get to 30.1years. Of 177 countries investigated by the United Nations Development Programme we placed an enviable 157. One cannot begin to even imagine the Countries ahead of us. You either already know or I am sure you don’t want to know.
Problem Has Changed Name (PHCN) former NEPA has been divided like the Akara children would be fed with in primary schools. Eighteen companies have been carved out of it. Yet only a bare half of the 6,000 mega watts is being generated. No improvement!
Nigeria is presently on the list Non-Cooperation Countries and Terroritories (NCCT). This is in terms of money laundering. Our Financial Institutions are high risks, mergers or no mergers. Yet the Ota messiah is fooling himself about achieving this and that.
Capital base for banks, for insurance, for anything and all things have been increased. As of August 2005 excess crude oil earning had hit N1.4 trillion. Yet we are in the trenches of poverty at the squalor level. With all the trillions in reserve we have 1.2 million blind Nigerians and 300,000 suffering the pain of mosquito bites annually.
N342 billion has been earned in oil well sales but like all monies that this government has realized, it disappears into thin air. $35 billion has come into Nigeria through direct foreign investment, yet we just don’t see this money, it’s only on paper and nothing but mere statistics.
The Government has retrenched close to 920,000 workers and at the same time promising close to 5 million jobs before the end of 2007. This is magic, simple magic numbers. The nation has 34 million unemployed graduates whether half baked or cooked is another matter. Eight out of 10 Nigerians were living below the poverty belt.
1,388 families would be evicted from the Federal Government Towers in Lagos and nobody is bothered because the thieves are looking for anywhere and everywhere to commit their stolen money.
Delta State shut 367 illegal schools, Kaduna State shut a similar numbers, and like magic a State like Gombe has spent 1.7 billion Naira on health. Abeg don’t visit a hospital in Gombe if you are not sure, it is the specialist hospital. Let me not state how much has gone into education in Delta and Kaduna States.
Central Bank statistics show that we have 500 billion in circulation, yet Governors we are informed are running the show. 92% of that figure is in the hands of thieves with pen that parade themselves as leaders (Polithieficians). A few people have access to this wealth.
Under the Health System Development projects of the World Bank, 18 out 35 states have benefited to the tune of $5 million each, while the other 17 states would get $1.5 million each.
The stupid subsidy we get is shrouded in lies. Minister of Petroleum Dr Edmund says it is N400 million per day. Kupolokun says it is N600 million. Is there honor among these crooks?
Magic figures, how can a nation of over 120 million Nigerians survive on PMS stock of 32 days and the same refineries that are to be privatized would require $1billion to run and maintain up till 2007 (stealing in advance).
Several numbers that seems like magic keeps coming from all angles. Only God can save us. We change the numbers of our years on earth, we change all sorts of figures. The journey to nationhood, if there is a journey and if there is a nation is still far away from a mirage talk much of reality. Until we face the reality of the situation and stop these the more you look the less you see magic, we are in trouble. Once more may God help us.
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