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Handling Conflict By Amina Ibrahim
Months back, at a curriculum development workshop on peace and conflict management in Abuja, the youth’s session brought together youths from all parts of the country representing various groups and a lot of issues regarding causes and management of conflict were analyzed and seriously brainstormed.
A group of six demonstrated how information could be changed and misinterpreted before it reaches circulation peak. It was so simple but intelligent, portraying typical of how conflict could be generated most especially in a society of pluralistic cultures and normative social structures like ours. The wise demonstration goes thus; five youths volunteered and were asked to stay outside the hall. The first participant was invited in, a statement read to his hearing and that of everyone there present. The second person was invited and the first asked to reveal what was read to him to the second and to everyone’s hearing. So it continued up to the last person. The play took just few minutes but then before it ended, the whole story was distorted and the intended meaning completely changed to a different one entirely. Everyone present gaped in astonishment, shook heads and made confessions of similar experiences that lead to one misunderstanding or the other due to improper management of the situation.
We experience conflicts everyday of our lives. As individuals, we have it internal. Deciding on what to do, when to do it and how to do it, is just enough for a day. Such may result in discomfort or dislocation on how to allocate our limited resources to fulfill all our numerous and insatiable needs. In a situation where we don’t manage our internal conflict, the accumulated disorder generates tension that is transferred to others, simply transfer of aggression. The fact of life is that man is a gregarious being, does not and cannot live in isolation.
Hence, we need one another to survive therefore there is the need to understand that conflict is an all-pervasive element in our lives. Although it may result in destruction or even death. Conflicts may also result in increased effectiveness, enhance relationships and further goal attainment.
A scenario whereby a choice of apartment to live in, issues regarding children, home front, family business or other family related affairs often results in disagreement between couples. Depending on how the case is managed, the end result could be negative which may lead to quarrel, fight, separation or even divorce or positively harmonize with better understanding and considerations. But only and only if only appropriate measures of resolution are taken. Even in a polygamy were misunderstandings tends to be more intense, proper conflict handling is the way out. However, family issues and situations are reflected in the family member’s (most especially children’s) social interaction with the wider world.
Conflicts occur within a group. Typical of this is misunderstanding between staff of an political party, union or team over an issue relating to their being. This could be exhibited during meetings or even normal day to day activities. Such could bring about the falling apart of the group or accelerate reaching greater height collectively. Thus, its management determine its outcome.
Last year around this time, during Ramadan, there was a clash of understanding among some students of my school (Unimaid) which led to closure of the school and automatic interruption with the school calendar.
Something that started as mere disagreement unfortunately escalated and led a lot of destructions and the worst of all dead of a student. Along the line, something, somehow the event was turned out be a kind of religious crisis (as usual). When school re-opens, we all came back and normal life on campus continued still with our religious and all sorts of differences. Out of curiosity and wonder, I asked two friends (a Muslim and a Christian) that lives together; How did you people cope during the last school crisis? They boost into laughter and replied, “we were throughout together and protective of one another”. Adding that religion is only a way of live and not meant to be a barrier to their friendship or union. To be candid, I was so impressed because if only all or majority of us think or act as they do, the issue would have be en better dealt with, yield more understanding to our beliefs and enhance more respect for each other.
It is obvious that we are constantly bombard with messages upon messages by the mass media. But what do we see and hear? Footage and photo graphs of destructed homes and property, dead and wounded people, desperate plight of refugees and other pathetic and unpleasant presentations. Reports of crimes committed by one group or another, human rights abuses, and that’s just the news. All results of so claimed cultural, religious, ethnic or political crisis. For relaxation and entertainment, we can choose from an array of violent and bloody films about war, cultism, tragedy, witchcraft and what have you. The point here is; is there no more than enough crisis and conflicts in real life that we can’t be speared of it in our leisure time? Why don’t we see coverage of successful events and peaceful initiations? Why don’t we receive messages on developmental programmes? Why don’t the media set agenda on issues of serious impact to our lives and to the future?
While in countries of economic, political, social, technological and academic excellence, people even school children are advocates of peace and peaceful co-existence, in our Nigeria of today, what we see, hear, feel and experience is VIOLENCE and nothing really seem to be done about it. This is apparently from the level of violent occurrence in the country. It is so fascinating knowing that a high school student Jeremy Fischer single-handedly took on his school in Bethesola, USA, overcome opposition within the school and organized a peace studies course, which was very popular among students. Realizing that most people liked the idea of peace studies but considered it to be impractical in their school, he didn’t give up. Jeremy invested a lot of hard work and time, eventually found a sympathetic&nbs p; teacher who was willing to teach the course. Having never taught peace studies, the teacher also gained a lot from it. “Pacifism does not seek merely end to all violent international conflicts, it seeks to transform our everyday world into a compassionate family, void of racism, hatred, violence and misunderstanding. “I know I can’t do it alone, but this means I must keep trying to pervade others to help” says Jeremy. The Nigerian situation with regards peace and violence is one of abstract view. Is it that these violence cannot be foreseen before they happen? Is it that violence has not yet done enough to this country? Is it that Nigerians cannot be oriented towards peace and peaceful co-existence? Is it that peace studies of significance cannot be enshrined in Nigerian school curriculum? Why is violence always our resort to conflicts?
With the growing trends of violent conflicts virtually on daily basis in the country, it appears denoting for one to stop thinking and wondering on the factors that ignite them or how they originate and above all, the participation of youths in such violent conflicts. It is no doubt that they (violent) are products of circumstances.
Central to issues of peace and national development are the youths who apparently, leadership and continuity of the society’s tomorrow rest squarely on. Worldwide, for youths to become responsible leaders, it requires their maximum utilization through gainful and respectable employment. On the contrary, Nigerian intelligent and skillful youths are denied their rights to employment, deliberately subjected to all sorts of frustrations and idleness, left roaming the streets helplessly in hunger, homelessness and abject poverty. For God’s sake, what is expected of thousands of such people? For the educated ones, it is believed that some kind of morality, self discipline and responsibility will be typical of their characters. How is these accomplished while “education” the determinant of the nature of youths work force in the country is not adequately and judiciously taken care of. What else do you expect of the thousands that are completely denied their right to education? These potentially contributes to inflame of violence. For the idle mind is the devil’s workshop.
Commonest to our everyday experience is increase in population, deterioration and collapse of our basic social amenities resulting to millions competing over utilizing artificially made scare resources. It is no wonder everyone relates to others in aggression and obvious bitterness. The sickness of patience in need of medical care and attention in public hospital the nation over are increased psychologically by the mere appearance of the so called medical places. Worst of all are the accident and emergencies wards where accident victims are taken from accident points.
These are places where once there, one never pray to look back again. Instead of the victims given adequate and necessary medical attention, meaningless claims and unreasonable formalities are made. After all, a great percentage of the unfortunate incidents are due to the condition of our roads. Why Nigerians for God’s sake, is this not reason enough for the hostility among Nigerians?
Its annoying whenever school pupils are made to spend a whole day lined-up under the burning sun to welcome someone who doesn’t even care for their well being. Someone who seats back not even mindful of their survival and the highest he could do is to wave as he passes by in flashy, bullet-proof car worth billions of naira and expects these children to grow up to be peace makers? The fact is, the Nigerian child is groomed with a violent and aggressive mind, resultant of obvious maltreatment and hostility and denied fundamental human rights, growing up to see nothing fascinating or interesting about life. Definitely, reactions will be negative and violent.
If Nigeria is to be less violent in future, people must have alternatives to violence. This process should start in schools by equipping the young minds with adequate skills for conflict management and mediation. Looking at the schools condition, there is the need to revisit child up bringing to conform with standards in general both in equipments, teaching condition and facilities.
Think about the relationship between violent conflict and poverty, generally, no one is happy with the economic condition of the nation. This prickle violence in people by the slightest mistake by others. This is obvious is our everyday experiences, in homes, on streets, in schools and any other place. People’s right should not be abused in any way and peace should be in practice not written or just campaigned for. “Peace is a spirit, and not an intellectual obstruction: it is life, not a theory”. Says Elihu Burritt, a pacifist activist.
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