|
Valuing Our Values By Mamman Lawan Yusufari
At least the non-personal reasons why one should leave home to live abroad are common knowledge. Large number of cases are either grounded on commerce or scholarship. In the context of ‘Third World’ – ‘First World’ drift for scholarship, better learning facilities, commitment-inducing environment, institutional stability, and above all ‘more marketable’ certificates could be the driving forces. This ‘qualitative’ distinction existed even when the gulf between the two worlds was not as wide as it is now. In the good old days when honour was not monetised, products of prestigious foreign institutions were a pride to, and models for, not only their families but their nationalities. One might imagine how comfortable life would be away from a home where the only order was lack of order. Living in the ‘civilized’ ‘developed’ world, one from without might imagine them in a mock heaven. The fantasies are greater now. Sometimes returnees are scolded by friends and relatives for committing a great blunder: “Why waste this golden opportunity of experiencing the best of lives in the best of places?” “Why come back to this land of uncertainties, heat, fears and tears?”
Unknown to the admiring fellow, life away from home could be hell. With all the ‘good’ life abroad, and the ‘frustrating’ home life, home could be unsurpassed. Life characterized by wants and uncertainties could still be better than life in the midst of plenty and some measure of certainty. Ask a well-fed prisoner who gets neither physical torture nor hard labour whether he would forgo his precarious free life. Or sound out an African student desolate in a Western university, who out of desperation to make friends wears incessant smiles and asks unnecessary questions. Imprisonment is not limited to a confined life within the four walls of a penitentiary following a juridical order. In the sense of mental anguish and psychic trauma, imprisonment could take place in one’s residence provided certain things taken for granted are curtailed. The freedoms to move around, have tête-à-tête and choice of activity, once infringed, covertly or overtly, automatically hurls one into a prison of a first grade. This is why there is wisdom in holding one liable for inhibiting another’s movement (i.e. false imprisonment) under the jealously guarded law of torts. Even when movement is not only uninhibited but is rather facilitated for instance by an efficient transport system, no much difference would be made provided home values are at variance with host values. Would a typical English man/woman have the patience/time to answer, even perfunctorily, more than one unnecessary question? But to the question: “what language did I hear you speak on phone please?” an African lady would gladly answer: “Chichinwe”. To a further one: “where are you from?” she would readily say: “Malawi”, and pose her own question: “what about you?” You may be lucky to break weeks-long mute and have lively discussion to ensue on corruption or sports after disclosing your Nigerian nationality!
Africa is unique in many respects. It is indeed a pride that the commodification of life by the gain-motivated globalizing system is yet to swamp out the time-honoured values in the continent. There are still things outside the realm of the market. The spirit of brotherhood and neighbourhood are very much alive to the extent that offer of money in return for kindness could be offensive. Do not mind the corruption that permeates our societies and/or the parsimony of the few egoistic well-to-do in our midst. They are in a world of their own. In another enviable world, virtues reign and rule. It is only that we take them as given. Did you ever ponder over how valuable your neighbour is? Thought of the psychological benefit of the occasional greetings you exchange or the feeling of availability in emergency matters? Did you ever realize the mutual security provided in neighbourhood? Can you ever imagine not knowing who lives next to your door? Do you realize our level of responsibility and how rich our culture is in providing for our aged and younger ones? To somebody who experiences life in the so-called advanced countries, these are some of the issues he ruminates over when ‘imprisoned’ in a life that knows no brotherhood or neighbourhood. A life that prides in extracting money in every human activity. Where relationships are seen from a mercenary point of view only. A life that sees symbol of freedom/right in not knowing next door neighbour let alone how his life goes. It is a life that does not value even parenthood. Otherwise how is consigning aged parents to the ‘care’ of state-managed homes explicable? A life wherein a daughter would ask “Am I a doctor?” and hang up on a sick mother seeking for an emergency help!
Sometimes I begin to wonder wherein lies respect in or to a family life in the ‘advanced’ countries. Is it in a child saying “no mum/dad this is stupid!” or “no I won’t do it” to his parents? Or is it in not only condoning gay ‘marriages’ with ‘all’ matrimonial rights and benefits but also sanctioning such ‘unnatural’ relationships by legislation like the UK Civil Partnerships Act? Or does it lie in the ‘normalcy’ of over one-quarter of births taking place outside wedlock? Admittedly, social disintegration is now ubiquitous. But it is a fact that our societies have not degenerated to this level. Just remember the criticisms which greeted the introduction of the Child Rights Bill in Nigeria. To officially proclaim that children have rights against their parents was seen as a kind of Westoxification. This explains why the Act remains unreplicated in some states especially the ‘conservative’ ones. Is it conceivable to legalise gay relationships in our societies? It is a path I believe our legislators, notwithstanding that most of them are “honourables without honour”, would dare not tread. Nor is it an area that would invite a judicial law-making even in the eyes of the few “money for hand” judges.
We really deserve a salute for being able to achieve some measure of hybridization in this ‘value-freeing’ world. The time has come (or rather it has been brought) when we can no longer resist some alien cultures one of which is for instance the Western education. At various levels, it is either you get educated or get subjugated. It is a choice between modernization and ‘colonization’. Barring few exceptions however, our institutions of learning depict modernization less Westernization. For instance, a 60-year old professor teaching a class of under-30s in the ‘advanced’ countries would insist that he be addressed simply as ‘Stone’. In sharp contrast, our culture tells us that you dare not call him anything other than ‘sir’ for at least one of three reasons: his age, his knowledge, or the fact of being your teacher. It is not uncommon in our institutions for a teacher to address his elderly student as ‘sir’ (for his age) and the student addressing his young teacher as ‘sir’ (for being a teacher). And these go beyond words of mouth. They are more of mind. Mutual respect is a social treasure. Yes the ‘civilized’ people may have qualities we have unfortunately lost. Respect for time, dedication to duty, ‘sincerity’, honesty, etc. are virtues that have eased life in the Western world. At the level of social relation, you have the guarantee of getting terms agreed to dutifully honoured; and you are insulated from the fear of being swindled. For us, sadly, these are scarce commodities. Our inability to make headway despite abundant ‘human’ and natural resources could be attributed to this scarcity. Yet we have cause to value our values which remain uncorrupted. They are unique and unrivalled. Probably, it takes tasting a life devoid of them for one to discover their latency. A cow, it is said, does not know the value of its tail until when it is cut off.
Mamman Lawan wrote in from the School of Law, University of Warwick, UK.
|