Want A Job? Get A Note!

By

Iliya Musa

 

         

If you got your job without presenting a “note” from a “big man”, you are probably one of the few exceptions.  The rule in today’s Nigeria is that one can hardly get employed in any organization without being “introduced” or backed by an influential person/god-father, usually by way of a written note addressed to the prospective employer and borne by the applicant.  Thus the “culture of notes” has come to be a pervasive and permanent feature of the personnel recruitment process in the labour market as people jostle for the few spaces on offer in the generally alienating, exclusivistic and compressionistic socio-economic landscape.  It is not enough to graduate with a good result, you still need the support of a big shot.  If you choose to be naïve, you wallow in the job market without being “bought” for donkey years or even for ever (God forbid !).

         

Presentation of notes is no longer done under the cover of darkness.  Many job seekers attending interviews have experienced a situation whereby the interviewers would openly ask for those with “notes” to come forward and present their charms.  For instance, shortly before the commencement of a selection interview into the officer corps of the Nigerian Army in a particular year, every candidate presented their notes except one chap who stood there, askance and “note-less”.  When asked who was standing up for him, he, either out of genuine piety or sheer helplessness, said that God was his “god-father” No sooner had he mentioned God than the whole panel erupted into a thunderous laughter, their feet up and heads thrown back--they laughed for so long as if questioning the omnipotence of Allah.  Eventually the “candidate of God” made it, but many Nigerians seem to think it is damn risky to rely “only” on God. At another selection interview for Cadet ASP (The Nigeria Police), one candidate noticed how, during the course of the interview session, a junior police officer would from time to time popped into the interview room, salute the AIG and deliver a note.  Towards the end of the interview, the magnanimous interviewers gave the candidate a chance to ask a question or make an observation on any matter, especially one relating to the interview.  Pointing to the heavy file of notes, the audacious candidate told the AIG leading the interview panel that he did not like the “note thing”. Visibly embarrassed and impressed, the AIG launched into a lecture on the inevitability of the almighty note and the futility and perils of ignoring it, adding that a note could come from as highly placed a person as the “C-in-C himself”.  He vowed to see to it that the candidate scale through so as to see how he (the candidate) would resist a note when he eventually attains a top position.  “I may not be around then", the AIG intoned.  Then pointing to the junior officers present, he asked them to bear him witness.

         

The efficacy of a note varies.  While some are sure-bankers (like lailatulqadri), others may bounce (like a bad cheque).  Still others may even turn out to be detrimental to the bearer’s interests. With very few exceptions, Borno elites are not very good at exerting themselves to make sure indigenes secure placements, especially in federal agencies.  I once accompanied a friend to the home of a prominent person in Maiduguri.  When my friend introduced me to the highly principled man, as a desperate job hunter, the old man asked me whether I had applied to any organization.  I told him I had, and he reluctantly gave me a note -- a toothless “bullnote”.  The useless note read in part: “I shall be very grateful if you would kindly consider the bearer IN CASE YOU HAVE A VACANCY FOR WHICH HE IS SUITABLY QUALIFIED ….” (emphasis mine). My friends who love me dearly advised that I should not present the note because “the man has not said anything”.  Yet it is better than the diabolical note a friend (from Kogi) got, which mischievously reminded the prospective employer thus: “I know merit is your watchword; subject the bearer to a rigorous test and see whether he is a good material for your establishment”. With such a backer, who needs a breaker?

         

Compare the Borno note to these ones from other (serious) parts of the country.  One note screamed, “Do as I did for you!”. Another said bluntly, “Enrich the bearer”.  Another good one from a retired general, who wanted his son to carry on the family’s military tradition, threatened, “The bearer is my son; give him a uniform or I will give him mine!”.  They quickly gave him a uniform, otherwise …. One specimen of an excellent note commanded, “You must employ the bearer!”.

         

Some of the notes are so strong that they can be called “blank notes” or “open notes” in view of their wide applicability, respectability and effectiveness.  Only officials who are eager to lose their jobs dare resist such notes, and damn the consequences.  You can take such notes anywhere, and they work like magic.  Ten persons can cling to one such note (though originally meant for one person), and all of them will find salvation from the hellfire called joblessness. 

         

Seen as another dimension of corruption, the culture of notes entrenches mediocrity and indolence, promotes nepotism and favouritism, undermines due process and merit, hampers justice and fairplay, and ultimately impedes a society’s progress.  Fantastic arguments! I used to think like this before reality dawned on me. I studied the Nigerian society (and its wonderful leaders) as a participant- observer and came to the conclusion that notes are functional and difficult to avoid.  Or what do you think?

         

And with the current economic reforms biting hard, if an average Nigerian does not go to Heaven in the hereafter, it is double wahala.  So from a religious point of view, I had agonized over my belief that the “culture of notes” is immoral and sinful. Not until I listened to the rationalizations of a prominent cleric, a scholar of the times who goes with the flow. He said if the systemic state of affairs is such that one cannot get what one deserves without the intervention of a powerful or influential personality, so be it.  No sin. Necessity still knows no law.

           

However, if you wouldn’t or couldn’t get a note, one pious alternative is to head straight to the farm upon graduation from school.  But unfortunately, as noted by Malam Adamu Adamu, the grandmaster of rhetorical devices, in one of his masterpieces titled “A Disease Called Boko”, western education inculcates in us a “hatred for the hoe” apart from instilling in us “kleptomaniacal tendencies”.  So white-collar job is it !

         

In determining the outcome of a recruitment process, the influence of a good note is greater that the candidate’s performance, certificates or   “corporate” sartorial elegance; thereby reducing the interview to a mere formality, a source of management entertainment and a public relations gimmick. May God forgive our sins as we grapple with the challenges of day-to-day living in Nigeria I know Allah. He will understand.

 

ILIYA MUSA

School of Postgraduate studies, Ahmadu Bello University Zaria. 

                                                     ilyamusa@yahoo.com