Nigeria's Town Hall of Comedy

This is a PDP movie, starring: Field Marshal Emperor Obasanjo Loyalty. Co-starring: Lt General Atiku Abubakar Disloyalty, Major General Ken, Brigadier General Massari, Commandant Ali-Must-Go, Brigadier Audu Ogbe, lieutenant colonel Gemade, Sergeant Shuaibu Oyedokun and last-corporal Fani Kayode. Guest stars: Otumba IBB, Brigadier Lar and Major General Ghalli. Special appearance: colonel Fix, Mallam Bode and Sergeant Man2. Warning:  when watching this film, no one is allowed to ask question, no comment, no smiling, no movement of the eyes, no shaken of the body no changing of stained cloth, only absolute loyalty to the Emperor, because the production studio was Wadata Plaza, it was censored by INEC, written, produced and directed by chief Aremu and music provided by Fela Kuti, any offender will be visited by Warrant Officer Nuhu, or Major I SEE P .C. or the likelihood of being a tenant at kuje in bad boy Tafa’s room of Louis Edet house,  so be warned , nevertheless have a nice viewing while languishing  a ‘reformed’  poverty,

 Field Marshal Loyalty was sitting in his football sized palace’s sitting room, glazing his eyes around, abruptly he stood up and peeped into the windows and saw the lush green beauty of the villa, he went to the mirrors and looked at his face remembering his olden days Adolph Hitler styled Moustache, suddenly he said to himself: “wallahi I will not leave this enjoyment, over my dead body”, he went back to his sit and started thinking, then suddenly the door got opened and corporal Chris Uba entered; the Field Marshal said inside his mind: “thank you  God, you has sent this crook to me, he will know how to handle this sort of matter”, the Field Marshal told corporal Uba his plan, corporal Uba said in his mind: “thank you chineke for making this old man to think correct”; and he raised his head up, thought  for a while, turn to the Emperor and said: “Nna, we will do them Anambra style”, the Emperor‘s face got scowled, he angrily said to the corporal “get out, you muumuu” .

Field Marshal Emperor Obasanjo Loyalty, was sitting on his majestic office chair, took the 1999 Empire’s master plan, mistakenly he opened the section that said, when there is crisis in the Empire, he can continue ruling, the Emperor said:   “aahh, so this corporal Uba get sense woo!” He took his ‘GSM’ and called last-corporal Fani Kayode, the last-corporal came in, but crying, and Emperor Loyalty asked him: “wetin?”  He said: “no bi lieutenant Remi, she always steals the show”, Emperor Loyalty said: “don’t worry you would soon become my ‘Armour bearer’,”  “and before   I forget call Brigadier Audu Ogbe”.

(Melody: fela kuti: I no be gentleman at all, I no be gentleman at all, I no be gentleman at all… I no PDP man original)…

Brigadier Audu Ogbe was sipping from a glass of water, Emperor said: “uu...Uu…Uuhh, our great party is the lion of Africa, the elephant of Africa and the biggest rat of Africa”, Brigadier Audu Ogbe said; “how do you mean Emperor”, Emperor said: “cant you see the good work ‘our boys’ are doing in Anambra”, Brigadier Audu Ogbe said: “but it is wrong”, Field Marshal Loyalty, instantly ordered coup d'état against Brigadier Audu Ogbe     and asked Commandant Ali-Must-Go to take over with Flight lieutenant Ojo ‘idiotic’ assisting.

 (Melody: fela kuti: suffer suffer for world, na your fault be dat, me ase na your fault be dat…)…

After the Empire’s executive meeting, Field Marshal Emperor Obasanjo Loyalty and Lt General Atiku Abubakar Disloyalty, were left alone in the conference hall, Emperor said; “uu…Uu…Uuhh, I have a big plan for the Empire”, Lt General Disloyalty said: “I have a bigger plan in 2007”, the Emperor said: “no no no no, cant you see how difficult and painstaking this emperorship is, I have to go round the globe, I have to implement no single budget, I have to bombed Zaki-biam and Odi, I have to be minister of petroleum, I have to appoint, impeached and dismissed, I have to forged an electoral bill, I have to be the leader of our party, I have to be selective in my crusade against corruption, I have to preach fasting and practice gluttony, this job is a scrupulous one.  Lt General Atiku Abubakar Disloyalty said: “but you swore to leave by 2007 ”, suddenly the Emperor started gnashing his teeth and said: “you a liar and disloyal, our ‘auren zube’ is over”.

(Melody: fela kuti: lala… laalala… everi dey my people dey inside bus… sufferi and smiling … 49 sitting, 99 standing… sufferi and smiling)

  Field Marshal Emperor Obasanjo Loyalty summoned a meeting, with a frowned face, he said to his audience: “disloyalty has now become a ‘virtue’ in this our Empire, even my ‘Spare Tyre’ is disloyal to me”; “I am now giving a direct order to: Commandant Ali-Must-Go, Sergeant Man2, lieutenant Ojo ‘idiotic’ and last-corporal Fani Kayode, to ‘amend’, ‘consolidate’ ‘retrench’ and ‘demolished’ ‘the Empire’s master plan’, mouth-lash any ‘disloyal’, to flush-out all the ‘smaller rats’ and the ‘smallest rats’, punish all the ‘rascals’ and stop all the ‘empty barrels’ and everybody from today must start wearing ‘stained cloth’, I will keep a ‘studied silence’  and everybody should start praying to ‘the gods of abandoned project’ of ‘okija shrine’. Commandant Ali-Must-Go raised his hands up and Emperor nodded his head permitting him to talk,    “ I wish to notify this gathering that some VIP’s from our Mami market had indicated interest, they are: Mama Iyabo who dey sell ‘ stock fish’, the ‘burkutu man’ and the ‘mason’. And also the following comrades have given their words: sergeant Makarfi Green Snake, Sergeant Adamu Aremu Abdullahi, Sergeant Bukar Tumble, Sergeant Saminu Hide and Seek, Sergeant SAS Local Govt. Funds, all the Sergeants OOs, Most of the Sergeants Resource Control and some of the Sergeants from corporal Chris Uba’s cantonment, we also have corporal Jibri Linkman, corporal Tafida 50 million, corporal Zwingina 50 million, Frog AGIP, Mazi Marwa EFFC … and Sergeant Man2 will in due course named the rest. I’m on behalf of the all  ‘invaders’ promise to provide ‘absolute Loyalty’ to our ‘unchallengeable’, ‘unreliable’ ‘party leader’ the Emperor without ‘Due process’    

(Melody: fela: this a new party call open and close… this a new party call open and close…)

(Melody: fela: politicians wee de do good na kwakkoo…: politicians wee de do bad na Swegwe …)