African Women in Hollywood

African Women in Hollywood

Garba Deen Muhammad

Thirteen African women travelled to Los Angeles last week for a two-day conference on something that had to do with health matters. Imagine, going to a 21st century hospital to seek cure for 17th century ailments! It would make sense if those ladies went to Hollywood to learn the latest art in make-up, the latest breast implant technique or similar cosmetic stuff; but how on earth does anybody expect Los Angeles to know anything about Malaria, child and maternal mortality, malnutrition etc? Mungo Park was Scottish, so nobody in LA would care that malaria, the disease that killed his son Thomas, almost 200 years ago is still killing the people he helped to enslave.

Even the local newspaper (The Los Angeles Times, no less) was understandably suspicious of such senseless incongruity. Its edition of 22/04 carried the story of the arrival of thirteen wives of African leaders with a very telling headline: “For African First Ladies, health issues are a chance to remake their image”. Or in African English, “A chance to show off”. Alexandra Zavis, the LA Times reporter described them as dressed in sleek suits, eye-catching robes, spiky shoes and designer glasses. And inside their heads they carried enough ignorance to turn Harvard into a zoo. Oh, there were some smart ones among them such as Queen LaMbikiza of Swaziland who defied tradition and qualified as a lawyer, but you need more than degrees to be educated; otherwise why should Sia Nyama Koroma, the Sierra Leonean First Lady and a London-trained psychiatrist nurse at that, assume that African First Ladies are loved, adored and even respected by Africans? Hear her: “As First Ladies, people listen to us, people want to see us, the crowd goes with us” Really? In my country many people will describe that statement as very, very stupid. But Koroma, 51, did come close to something more factual. She said: “We are very close to these Presidents…whatever we tell them sticks in their heads”. Now that is something, in my country, that we can all understand.

So ladies, how about telling them this simple message: Stop stealing our money, stop rigging elections, and we won’t have malaria, malnutrition and other scourges no more. About the roll call that you must no doubt be itching to hear, our own Turai was there, as well as other elegant names such as Chantal Biya (Cameroun), Adelcia Pires (Cape Verde), Hadija Tanja (Niger Republic), Ana Dos Santo (Angola), etc, etc. But then in spite of their powerful marital positions, they still needed the presence of Holly power ladies like Sharon Stone and Diane Lane to attract the press. See? One other thing: Michelle Obama didn’t even know they were in town. African First Ladies indeed. Aliko, wetin you chop? The gift of laughter, they say, is the greatest gift of all. Thursday night at about 1.00am, I found myself laughing so hard after reading in the Daily Trust a statement credited to one of Africa’s richest men, Alhaji Aliko Dangote, Chairman of the Dangote Group of Companies. Honestly, since the day senator Mantu refused to swear by the Qur’an on the baffling excuse that he was not pure, nothing had sounded so hilarious to my ears than Dangote telling the world that he had a running stomach. He told reporters who blocked him after facing a House Committee investigating his role in the African Petroleum (AP) shares manipulation thus: “You have to know that I have been in business for 31 years and I have been taught how to respect constituted authority and that is why I have to show up this morning despite my having a running stomach.

This is to show you the respect I have for the committee”. So the rich also sh...T! Anyway, the comedy apart, there are reasons to be concerned and happy at the same time over the recent happenings within the business circle in the country. You have two of the biggest players, Dangote and AP Chairman Chief Otedola threatening to strip each other naked in the market place; you also have the Director-General of the Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC) Alhaji Musa Al-Faki resigning abruptly from his position, something he should have done when it mattered. Elsewhere you also have the EFCC grilling Dangote, his and his adversary’s lawyers; before now a brokerage firm, NOVA Finance had been suspended for five years by the SEC for its role in manipulating the shares of AP. What does it all mean? It means if the EFCC does not bungle it, there would be more running stomachs than the number of shares in Transcorp. Watch out, rich sh…t also stinks! Adieu Sarkin Gabas The news came last Sunday of the passing away of Alhaji Dalhatu Bafarawa, the District Head of Bafarawa and Sarkin Gabas of Sokoto. He was also the father of Alhaji Attahiru Dalhatu Bafarawa, the former Governor of Sokoto state and Presidential candidate of the Democratic Peoples Party (DPP) in the 2007 general elections.

I had met the Sarkin Gabas for the first and only time in 2006. It was in June and the standing committee of the Nigeria Guild of Editors of which I was a member had held its quarterly standing committee meeting in Sokoto with the active support of the Sokoto state government. As is the tradition, the NGE members were taken round to sight some projects executed or being executed by the state government. One of those projects happened to be the Olusegun Obasanjo Technical College which was located at Bafarawa. After our inspection we went to pay courtesy visit on the Sarkin Gabas at his palace. He was sick even at the time, but there was no pain or sign of distress about him. Instead he received us warmly in what I thought was his inner chamber. Among the anecdotes we heard about him was that during the time when taxes were collected ruthlessly by traditional rulers (who else), the late Sarkin Gabas used to pay for those of his subjects who could not afford it. Interestingly his whole concern during our visit was for the unity and peace in the country. There is no doubt that his people would miss him. May God have mercy on his soul.