Humanist Funerals in Nigeria

Humanist Funerals in Nigeria: A Welcome Development

Ike Francis

In truth, funerals are a forum for the living. Mourning as a medium of introspection and grieving of a loss is by itself private, subjective and dependent on the quality of the relationship between the departed and the mourner. The intentions for holding a funeral however could be debatable. Are the organizers, usually family members, using the opportunity to eulogize and celebrate the achievements and life experiences of the deceased or are they seizing the forum to share their own social standing or contrived benevolence for nods of societal approval and increased stature in the community?

If you are Nigerian, you could easily answer that question by reviewing the newspaper, radio and television advertisement that saturate the public spheres close to a planned funeral. Look for the sponsors of the various announcements, the advertorial spread in nationally circulated newspapers, the content and achievements of those besides the deceased mentioned in the advertisement, the size and frequency of the advertisement heralding the actual event.

In the geographical southeast, pay attention to the logistics and negotiations with the home area church community. The priests, the church women and men’s organizations and even in some cases the youth or the single women’s groups in the church. Often times monies change hands, and the family ponies up several outstanding levies and fees that could stretch years back that are demanded to be paid up on behalf of the deceased, even if the deceased had never lived in the town nor attended church services there for decades. Unless this demand is met, the church may not honor the departed with a Christian funeral to the distress of the family. Obviously the deceased has no say in the matter at this point..

If this is planned for the geographical southwest, though this practice is gaining universality, expect calls from various subgroups to discuss the uniform attire every member of the subgroup would purchase for the big day. You may yet spend a lot more cash if you don’t already have a matching color shoe or handbag to go with the decreed fabric It doesn’t stop there as some people closer to the deceased plan their own mini-funeral within the main funeral, inviting their own specific friends and making separate catering arrangement for their specific guests within the general funeral ceremony...

The above are just the basics. When you throw in the time-honored traditional requirements that no one can really draw contemporary relevance to, depending on the gender of the departed, especially in the southeast, you are in for yet another round of haggling and endless negotiations with the deceased maiden family or in-laws. Not only that, the deceased still has no say in all these negotiations, the direct relative responsible for ensuring the departed is decently interred may not even have much say either.

It is also not uncommon that the deceased body is stored in the mortuary for weeks or even months while a house in the deceased compound is constructed or refurbished and repainted beyond recognition were the deceased to return there alive. Further delay could also be made to the plans if family members are scattered all over the world as their primary places of residence.

This may all be well and good, but they help paint a clearer picture of whom funeral ceremonies are tailored for. Does this fate accompli need rethinking? Perhaps.

Of course the material preparation and actual pompous execution of a funeral ceremony are not the only reasons to gather the tribe when one of the members transition forever. As human beings, there is a genuinely emotional turmoil to an irreversible loss. Perhaps there are several unfinished businesses, feuds that were not mended, apologies that were not tendered, advice that was not obtained, confidence that was not shared, coveted experiences that were not lived and future essential plans that came crashing on the demise of a parent, child or sibling. Any of these circumstances could haunt the living and affect their emotional health for a long time.

The emotional health balance surviving relatives and friends seek is no different from the same emotional health balance that humanists and atheist wish to enjoy by knowing that when they pass, those surviving them will dutifully carry out their wishes on how they wish to be interred and remembered. They could, like everybody else, choose a large colorful funeral celebration like most people, or wish they are given a very secular burial ceremony shon of the egomaniacal pomp and pageantry that mark some funerals, or they may just not care what happens to their body after they pass, leaving decisions to be made thereafter by those close to them at the point of transition.

Is the Nigerian society evolving in the direction of seeing and appreciating the dignity of its citizens as individual beings who could make decisions for themselves that are worth respecting? Are we ready to question some value systems that were handed down and perpetuated even when we cannot truly understand their merit? Are we cultivating individual identity that on some issues could trump what others think we should be happy with because they feel that way? These are philosophical and sociological questions that some humanists and atheists among us are provoking for a deeper introspection within the society and within ourselves. The placid response that it has always been done this way smacks unhealthy stagnation.

The recent demise and respectful obedience to the wishes of Eze Ebisike is an encouraging sign that we may be getting it after all. Ebisike, a former catholic priest, who eventually in the course of his life renounced religion and put his faith in reason, humanity and science and enthusiastically embracing atheism never waivered on where he stood on societal issues. In the same brazen manner, for a conservative country, he was also clear about how he wanted his transition marked when he passed. Leo Igwe and Patrick Naagbanton captured the enigma of Eze Ebisike’s life and transition in their respective tributes to this impressive man. It was gratifying to learn from the reports following his funeral confirmed that his family and friends gave him a befitting secular funeral celebration exactly the way he had wished. It was courageous for him to buck the trend but even more so for his family and friends to respect those wishes and directives he left on transitioning.

Perhaps Eze Ebisike was not alone among Nigerians who want to be given a secular or humanist burial and don’t care for the so called honor they were being bestowed in absentia. Others may also have come to that conclusion by surmising that the wastage that comes from the average Nigerian funeral celebration is unwarranted and unproductive use of resources. The question is, would the living pay attention?

This indubitable atheist in passing has left us a great moral question that each of us should ponder. If you consider yourself reasonable and intelligent, would you want your inherent dignity as a human being and your fundamental personal wishes on what happens in the immediate aftermath of your death respected? I know I would.