When Birds Flew; Crisis Management In Nigeria… A Big Joke

Prince Charles Dickson

Jos, Plateau Nigeria

 

 

I love Nigeria and everyday my love for Nigeria grows despite the concerted efforts of the crooks that Allah has cursed us with. These crooks wearing the garb of leaders try to make me think otherwise… however I still go out of my way to love Nigeria. On a second thought if I do not love Nigeria which other country can I love…?

 

It is the only country that you get a utility bill without using the services, it’s the only nation you can throw out banana peels out of your car window while driving at breakneck speed and the cops do not come chasing after you. You park anyhow and you do not get a parking ticket. At night you can get a local electrician and everyone in the neighbourhood would simply stroll to the local power transformer and temper with it. This country is beautiful who can argue that we are not Allah’s people.

 

I love Nigeria because of so many reasons that would make me not love another country. Whether I can, or would die for Nigeria though has become everyday a question that weighs me down. It’s unfortunate that despite our best efforts we just are Nigerians, and always will do things the Nigerian way, the only way.

 

This essay is not about my love for Nigeria though, but well it really is because, it is only in Nigeria that two planes crash in less than 60 days and till date no report about what really happened. As usual experts have spoken and made noise and gone back to the status quo and end of story, the best the Minister for Aviation could offer recently, was that the planes crashed because of bad weather. Yes and talking about weather, that is also one of the many reasons I love Nigeria. Fantastic weather that can withstand any and everything come rain, sun, moon and snow we dey kampe (we are least perturbed).

 

In Nigeria we do not witness earth-breaking quakes; we do not have to witness tsunamis, hurricane Catherine or Stella. We have earthquakes that are the functions of electoral rigging and malpractice. We have our own Nigeria made tsunami, which wrecks daily havoc and hardship on the psyche of the Nigerian common man. Our own hurricane is an ill wind that is blown by our leaders so much so we have become used to it, so its not about damage limitation or control but damage endurance.

 

The bar beach in Lagos from time to time overflows into the streets and the government has got in the pipeline plans to do something but the plans have never left the pipeline. The recent one being to turn the place to a tourist haven. We have some resemblance of heavy rains in parts of the country that turn to flood situations but they do not get TOO bad like it does in Indonesia, India and other places. Our train system has been raped by Indians Pakistanis, the latest in the waiting a second time is the Chinese…so we are spared the agony of terrible train accidents that claim thousands of lives.

 

We live in a country where we are pretty much not concerned about the unknown-known, and throw the known-unknown to the dirt bin of speculation. The unknown-know, the things we do not know but know they will happen, the known-unknown, things that we know will happen just that we do not know when. Nigerians are not necessarily careless people but they are carefree people and that is why they are the happiest and the most religious. However, painfully that is also why their governments take them for a jolly ride. Our Crisis Management structure is non-existence because as someone cruelly put it we are the very definition of crisis.

 

I have tried to steady my thoughts as I write because the Nigeria story is one of fun, happiness, excitement with thrills and frills but one of plenty sadness. The dreaded Bird Flu has finally been granted free passage into the shores of our country through diplomatic passport… A serving Minister’s poultry farm, in his first reaction the Minister placed accusing fingers on aggrieved former workers. Our leaders must think we have brains of mould clay. Well let’s leave that matter because studying the thought pattern of an aggrieved worker and what he is capable of doing is better left to the psychologist especially when the employer in question is a Minister in Baba Sege’s corrupt ridden government.

 

To these birds that have decided to fly to us, it only reinforces my belief that strange things happen in Nigeria because I have watched with keen interest the flight of these birds both the biological birds and our leaders in power that are birds of higher value. We are simply one big amusement park. First we have won the gold prize of being the first to have acquired the deadly flu. And as usual the government has been engrossed in a frenzy of inactivity.

 

The hitherto idle Ministry of Agriculture officials finally have work to do, dressing like Eskimos on a journey to the moon. One can notice the excitement on their faces as their Ministry is finally on the news map and off course as in cases like these money will flow that you do not need to necessarily account for.

 

This government is one of signs and wonders, the more you do not look, the more you will likely see. The first move of the government has been to release 2billion Naira of which 250Naira would be paid out per bird to poultry farmers whose birds are killed…how this figure was arrived is another masterpiece of our budgeting genius. How about those who loose ostrich and peacock like they say maybe the case of Aso Rock birds, which are exotic birds, would they get 250 Naira too. How about does innocent Nigerians who had small poultry farms behind their houses to supplement income and also to have from time to time the pleasure of a chicken al Carte meal. There are just no modalities, as in Abuja Development officials just enter private residence and kill anything that has feathers and two tiny legs. There are no proper arrangements for the disposal of the chickens.

 

Because of the disposal system of these fowls, aft er killing, some have still found their way back to people’s soup pots and what has the government said through its spokes people boil very well. Off course, I jokingly told a friend, in the vicinity I grew up, chickens were best killed and served when they were sick with the flu in as long as it still had blood flowing. And I bet you that’s what is happening all over the places this flu has been discovered.

 

If only the flu had come during Christmas, Allah knows what would have happened not with the drop in pric e to a ridiculous low of 100 Naira per fowl as against 1000-2000 Naira, which it sold at that period. One man’s meat another’s poison. The price of beef has risen astronomically, so do we beefeaters not deserve 100 Naira compensation.

 

With all the success stories this PDP led confusion has authored it sadly cannot boast of any form of immediate disaster or crisis management organ that is functional and can respond to crisis in whatever form without the crooks in Abuja making noise. It is either we have the manpower or we do not have the facilities or vice versa.  In this bird flu matter the first samples were sent to Italy even when we have a BIG Veterinary Research Institute and the two kids suspected to have the flu had their blood samples sent to London. I love Nigeria!

 

Billions are being released now without anyone to hold accountable to for it, especially in a nation were money is never enough so the probability that we will know what became of the 2 billion Naira is slim. Alre ady the offer of the World Bank to loan us some 6.7billion Naira is also good news to our thieving leaders, Allah bless this bird flu would the words on the lips of contractors as the buzz in the Ministry for Agriculture has increased. Now we have quotations for supply of drugs, personal protection equipment like masks, gloves, and gowns, technical and logistic support. Overnight millionaires would emerge. I sure do love Nigeria

 

Come to think of it why deceive us? Answer; Simple! Because we are Nigerians and we are carefree and gullible.  The truth is that there is no hospital in Nigeria that has the capability to handle this flu thing if it becomes an epidemic outbreak tomorrow. Most families buy fowls from the open market, and we do not know the source and not that we care much Most poultry farmers get their drugs and vaccination from any mushroom Veterinary Doctor that is even when that poultry is not located inside a person’s car garage.

 

Like we all expected till now we have not been told how the flu entered the country other than through the Minister’s farm but how did it get to the Minister’s farm This government certainly has bird flu. The National Emergency Management Authority NEMA which has statutory responsibility to handle cases of this nature is missing in action like it did in Bellview, Sosoliso and now the bird graciously is flying because it knows our emergency preparedness is zero.

 

The only control post we have is in Aso Rock hall with telephone numbers… How many of these poultry farmers have the luxury of an education that has the moral fiber which will make them call for some government persons to come kill his birds and give him 250Naira for each. He will rather keep mute and sell at discount, as he is not sure when he will get the 250 Naira from a government that release money only on National Television.

 

Three Ministers on a command twenty-four hour watch are manning the Crisis Center. Nigeria Na Wa! I love Niger ia and I love Nigerians. It has taken this flu for the government to wake up and ban keeping of poultry in residential areas. Like the Igbos say when a man wakes up is his morning…so apologies to Obj and his crew of flu experts and a Good Morning to them

 

Virtually all States of the federation have set up bird flu committee, in Kano it is 10-man committee, in Benue 14men, in Plateau they have released over 3million and political jobbers who apart from roasted chicken barbecue, which they eat. They know next to nothing about poultry farming, yet they will smile to the bank. In Delta rather than a hostage resolution conference it held a stakeholders’ forum on bird flu and someone is smiling from ear to ear. Shrewd consultants are packaging seminars, workshops, and conferences on how a bird can fly.

 

I have always said only Almighty Allah can save this nation of ours…do not begrudge me as I end this piece I have a chicken lap in my hand and I am eating it. If it had bird flu, Avian Influenza H5NI virus or the dreaded AIDS, it cannot kill me not after the boiling and frying process it went through, besides if the injustice, inequality, inhumanity, negligence, confusion and all manner of undemocratic actions of this government which itself is a monkey and goat flu has not killed all of us, Almighty will surely protect us from the flying away of sanity in our society.