BURNING POT BY PRINCE CHARLES DICKSON

BURNING POT BY PRINCE CHARLES DICKSON

So That Nigeria Does Not Become Nonsense And Ingredients
Jos, Plateau

If you do not agree with the phases of the moon, get a ladder and repair it.

Nigeria is under siege, the signs are ominous, it’s in the air but those that are supposed to be doing something to stem the tide are scheming 2011 and stealing on. In the last few days we have even almost forgotten Yar'adua, whether he is sick, getting better or not, whether his mother saw him or his cousin drank pito, zobo or kuno. Nigerians do not care, till date even Jonathan has not seen him and no hope of seeing this man.

Nigerians ever so eager to move on, and as usual we leave the substance and build a carriage on the chaff and like dust continuously swept under the carpet, one day money go waka go market, we know the rest.

Hours after Speaker Dimeji Bankole was done condoling Jang in Jos, another village was attacked at the night near Riyom leaving innocent citizens dead again.

Not that the likes of Soyinka and myself have said so many fantastic things about Nigeria but the fact is that at the pace we are moving very little good can be said about Nigeria. It gets bad by the day so much that Ghadaffi of Libya is now advising that we split into two; others say three, four, five and even ten.

Not that I take characters like Ghadaffi any serious but why should he not be taken serious? However a fundamental issue is that as of today, We readily cannot decide that we want to live together in peace and harmony as one Nigeria. Those saddled with leadership are living in a different world and have no answers.

The boys from MEND made a categorical statement. By taking their fight straight to the oil pot and boom the bombs rocked. The governors were left running helter skelter; traditional rulers left their glasses on the table, walking sticks and took to their heels. The million dollar bullet proof jeeps were not so bomb proof.

The group even volunteered their reasons for the attack and even stated that they had planned to detonate an extra bomb but for a change of heart. And as I write, no arrests, no official comments from the police, no crime scene, just the usual huff and puff from the federal government.

As 2011 approaches can someone tell me why Maurice Ewu is still in INEC, can someone tell me how the Hausa-fulani whatever that phrase means has been responsible for the looting in, for example Ogun, Oyo or explain if Christians are responsible for the backwardness that pervades the entire North?

I am not totally ignorant of all the conspiracy theories, the Jihadists agenda and all the poisoning of fruits and attacks by truckloads of Fulanis coming in from Borno, Sokoto or Niger Republic. I am naive and I do acknowledge that, but ordinary naive Nigerians like me want to know why Christian Obj, Muslim Yar'adua and now an 'attachee' called goodluck cannot give Nigerians electricity.

Governors both Muslims and Christians swear oaths to their respective holy books and then steal their states dry, that is also after visiting many a voodoo priest, either in Okija or Senegal.

As the very fabric of the wrapper called Nigeria is being torn, government at every level maintains a crude and dangerous silence. There seems to be a force pushing us in all the wrong directions. I was bemused when a friend made a valid point... The bomb blast in Warri was no religious affair, and it only goes to show that at the root of all these is heartlessness on the part of those that are saddled with leadership responsibilities.

Our hospitals are not working, both those that have Muslim chief medical directors and those that have churches next to the CMD's office. Infact Nigerians trust herbal and juju doctors that these hospitals.
Ninety-eight percent of Nigerian students failed NECO, these includes, Christians, Muslims, Fulanis, Ibos, Yorubas... relatives of Yar’adua, Jang, the GOC in Jos, David Mark’s cousins all make up that percentage.
Our schools produce more dumb heads than smart kids both the Christians and the Muslims alike. We deceive ourselves so hard, when thieves are caught we forget that first they are thieves and we start to debate whether the thief is Ibo, Yoruba, Hausa or Muslim and then Christian. The debate ends by someone muting that after all it’s our money that was stolen.

If the entire Nigeria becomes Muslim, I guess we will have electricity, good schools, fantastic roads and quality hospitals, our leaders would no longer loot. Maybe if everybody north from Jebba down to Sokoto possesses PhDs like Ekiti State then Nigeria like Alice would be in wonderland.

Long time ago I drop those sweet sounding ‘isms’ and gbam-gbam sounding English words when I write because I cannot seem to understand why a nation as blessed as ours continue to live not just below expectation but on the edge of sustained mutiny by its own against itself.

In the last few weeks, it’s been Haiti, Chile and who knows the next, from earthquakes to tsunamis and wildfires and so that we are not left out we decide to kill ourselves. Check out how this sounds. Happiest and most religious people embark on killing spree in Jos or better still, with millions of barrels of crude rich people bomb themselves in Niger Delta.

Most persons ask me many times why do you not proffer solutions when you write and my answer is, those that can work towards solving our mirage of problems live in self-denial and solving these problems deny them a livelihood. We have leaders and citizenry whose stock in trade is profiteering from the misfortune of others and in cases creating misfortune for others so as to profit.

At the rate we are 'deprogressing', I hate to say there may be no Nigeria soon, and indeed if we still have a Nigeria, what kind of Nigeria we would have. We would be 50 in a couple of months, in few words, what best describes us. Resilient, crooks, hardworking, terrorists, ethnic jingoists, foolish people, smart, loving, wicked...the list is endless.

In these nonsense and ingredients, I have wishes and maybe let me say dreams, some already closing in. Like the bomb in Warri, and the rampage in Jos, looting in Abuja, its coming close with every passing day. I think it would not be a bad idea to let go a couple of Christmas knockouts at the National Assembly. How do you wish someone bad, but I know that the list of Nigerians who agree with me that at least one governor should be attacked by armed robbers or an entourage of Senators die as a result of a pothole on a major highway is increasing. That may be a wakeup call they need. Something has to give...Nigeria which way?

And as I post this essay...good news coming in...Jonathan has dissolved the Federal Executive Council. We are watching.