The Messiah You Are, Mr. Minister

By

Kombo Mason Braide, Ph.D.

kombomasonbraide@msn.com

Port Harcourt, Nigeria.

An Unauthorised Secret Open Letter To The Honourable Minister Of Petroleum Resources.

His Excellency, Chief (General) Aremu Mathew Olusegun Okikiolahan Obasanjo (GCFR),

Honourable Minister of Petroleum Resources,

Federal Ministry of Petroleum Resources,

Aso Rock Villa Extension,

Port Harcourt, Garden City,

Federal Republic of Nigeria.

Although you passionately believe that you are divinely selected, certified, ordained, and motivated, and as such, do not need ordinary prayers or honest advice from bloody civilians, thus, rendering even my best wishes or/and fervent prayers for your spiritual salvation totally extraneous, and indeed, very upsetting, I will still go ahead and risk wishing you, and your ever-growing, large family, a very merry Christmas 2003 in arrears, a happy Eid el Kabir 2005 in advance, and a funky continuity in 2007, and beyond, for ever and ever. Amen. Halleluiah!

Honestly, it was practically impossible to reach you before Sallah 2003, simply because, while you were busy desperately lobbying, and aggressively entertaining your new-found friends at the Commonwealth Secretariat (formerly the Colonial Office), London, and frolicking ;with your large contingent of dedicated official praise-singers, seasoned sycophants, and expert ego masseurs, in their bullet-proof 4WD BMW SUVs, post-COJA Games, thanking Jehovah, the Lord God of ancient Palestine, for continuing to grant you the divine privilege of subjecting over 130 million Nigerians worldwide under your majestic armpit, I was overseas, on holiday, recovering from your Nigeria. You may not believe it, Honourable Minister, that, as materially poor as most countries in the ECOWAS sub-region are, they are more conducive compared to our petroleum-endowed Nigeria: Thanks to God, Almighty Allah, who has been so merciful in guiding their leaders.

My journey to Niamey, the capital of Niger Republic, was simultaneously physically refreshing, and psychologically distressing. My torment was exasperated by the realisation that Niger Republic is a very poor country that imports bitumen from Nigeria. However, the roads in Niger Republic feel, and are as good as German expressways, all due to the effective and transparent management of their national assets and resources by the leaders of that country. We did not encounter even a single pothole in Niger Republic. Can you believe it, Honourable Minister?

As you are aware, NEPA supplies darkness to Nigerians, and electricity to the Republic of Niger. In short, Niger Republic enjoys uninterrupted electric power supply, while protracted power outages have become the norm, here, in Nigeria. The few industries that are in Niger Republic function efficiently. The police and customs officers of Niger Republic are very courteous, and conscientious. They do not demand, nor do they expect bribes, or "egunje", or C.O.L.A (Cost Of Living Allowance) or "particulars", like our police and customs officers do habitually, and with rabid impunity, in Nigeria.

If, indeed, we can locate God in time and space, we may safely confirm that, right now, God Almighty is resident in Niger Republic. There is clear evidence of good governance throughout that country. President Tanja Mohammadu of Niger Republic diligently performs his duty without laying any claim to divine directives. Undoubtedly, the leaders of Niger Republic are honest: a factor that encourages their citizens to be contented, despite their relative material handicaps, compared to Nigerians, and are even willing to make big sacrifices for the common good of their poor country. Truly, Niger Republic is a nation. Nigeria is not, yet.

On arriving back home to Nigeria, I read your end-of-year testimony that was delivered at the Baptist Church, Owu. In that testimony, you freely indulged in your usual baseless executive “shakara”, “gra-gra”, and chest beating. You claimed that 4/19 (i.e. the process of re-cycling you, for the third time, in the dustbin of Nigerian political history, on April 19 2003) was one more miracle performed by the Lord God Almighty, Jah Jehovah, considering the demonic forces that were lined up against you. Because of my recent experiences in Niger Republic, coupled with a definite feeling of pity for my fellow Nigerians, who are currently saddled with a deluded leader that is irreversibly set on a clearly defined path of self-destruction, and national catastrophe, I have decided to write you this secret open letter, urgently. My task is to force you to seek a proper understanding of the Lord God Almighty, Yahweh, and to speedily purge you of aggravated paganism, preferably, with immediate effect. In doing so, I do not claim self-righteousness; neither will I resort to bogus quotations from esoteric or metaphysical literature, because I know how proficient you are in quoting your bible out of context. Instead, I will write as a Nigerian who has fully internalised the truth about the transient nature of power.

Honourable Minister, I have, in the last couple of years, been curious to study the life, and, particularly, the background of the guy called Chief (General) Mathew Obasanjo. However, in view of your shockingly dismal performance since Saturday, 29 May 1999, I will not reveal my findings yet, since they have been adequately addressed by some of your close associates like Chief Sunday Awoniyi, General T. Y. Danjuma (GCON), Chief (General) Chukwuemeka Odumegwu-Ojukwu (Ikemba Nnewi), and Chief Allison Ayida. Surely, you have evaded close scrutiny through deliberate misrepresentation, stage-management, and premeditated deviousness, exactly like you accuse General Sani Abacha (GCFR) of doing after your short stay in prison. I will now proceed to review your palpably dismal performance as a so-called democratically anointed Honourable Minister of Petroleum Resources, and President of the Federal Republic of Nigeria, between 1999 and 2003, including how you manipulated the 2003 elections, so as to make it abundantly clear to you that you derive your impetus from some other celestial entity, which, quite unfortunately, you mistake for the good Lord Almighty, Jehovah, the Lord God of ancient Palestine (now, modern Israel).

For good four (4) years, Mr. Petroleum Minister, Nigerians accorded you such servile obeisance, in the understanding that you inherited a severely traumatised country, and that any viable ad-hoc measure taken to salvage Nigeria, after 29 long years of cumulative military pestilence, was welcome. Strangely though, Nigerians naively believed the paradox that, of all Nigerians, you, a former military despot, had the best credentials to lead them to a demilitarised democratic promised land. The myth of your being an achiever, and an elder statesman, really fooled Nigerians to believe that you were divinely anointed. However, soon after, it was clear to even your official praise-singers, that, after all, you are not the messiah that Nigerians have been waiting for, ever since 7:00 am, Saturday, 15 January 1966.

If in the past, the ship of the Nigerian state became rudderless, today, you, as the incumbent captain, have deliberately chosen to go to sleep, dreaming that Olodumare, the Lord God of Owu (in modern Nigeria), will physically steer the Nigerian ship of state personally, on your behalf, in your capacity as His/Her only beloved, if not only begotten child. If or when you choose to wake up from your frequent executive wet dreams, you overtly operate a theocracy, instead of a democracy, ruling Nigeria from your mobile pulpit. The period between 29 May 1999, and 29 May 2003, was therefore characterised by rampant noisy sermonising about very attractive ideals, in which, we now know, you do not even believe. We will now proceed to review your management of the Nigerian economy, including the maintenance of the socio-political development of Nigeria over the past five (5) years.

We all know that Nigeria’s economic, political, and social systems suffered tremendous neglect and degradation, as a result of 29 cumulative years of opportunistic military dictatorship, of which, incidentally, you were an active participant: (initially as a cabinet minister while still in active military service, between 1970 and 1975, and then, between 1975 and 1979, firstly, as the deputy head of a military junta, following a so-called  palace coup, and later as its head, following a bloody coup d’état.)

Of course, as at 1999, your government inherited a severely cannibalised economy that was, and still is precariously addicted to petroleum revenue as its raison d’être. Although you appear to have correctly identified this anomaly in your several beautiful, but meaningless, speeches, unfortunately, your insincerity has ensured that such plans remain useless, as the Nigerian economy continues to plummet under your inept leadership. While you routinely present annual budgets, which the National Assembly repeatedly grudgingly passes into law, year after year, your government repeatedly circumvents transparency, and adopts other self-righteous, but foxy ways and means of looting the Nigerian treasury dry, all over again, post-Abubakar. There is, therefore, very little evidence of how nearly N3,500 billion has been spent by you since 1999. Nevertheless, there is ample evidence that most of it has found its way out of Nigeria. Excessive corruption has compounded your problem further, Mr. Petroleum Minister. Probity and accountability have been jettisoned, Honourable Minister. If not, how can you explain the deplorable state of Nigeria’s infrastructure, despite the colossal sums that you claim to have been spent so far?

Over N300 billion was supposedly spent on roads alone, yet there is not a single road in Nigeria that has been rehabilitated in the past four (4) years, including the one leading to your favourite “owambe” hideout, discreetly located right inside Obasanjo Farms Nigeria (OFN) Ltd, Otta. Over US$2 billion were claimed to nave been spent on NEPA, yet power outages have worsened nationwide. Nigeria’s refineries remain comatose, despite the billions of dollars claimed to have been spent by your Godsons for rehabilitating their fluidised catalytic cracking pockets. The naira has lost more than 50% of its value, post-Abacha. Most Nigerian Universities were shut down for well over twenty-four (24) months in the past 4 years of your presidency. At this rate, it may take about 10 years for a Nigerian-trained university graduate to graduate effectively into acute unemployment. Very soon, we may have to resort to importing undergraduates, just as you are about to do with farmers from Southern Africa. Our hospitals have since degenerated from being mere consultancy clinics, to being over-crowded mortuaries. At this rate, Nigerian hospitals will have to recruit more traditional physicians, mortuary attendants, and grave diggers!

Honestly, Mr. Minister, Nigerians have never experienced such massive social distress and dislocation before now. Today, over 90 million Nigerians cannot even afford N150 daily to feed themselves: thanks to your laughable so-called “divinely-inspired” economic reforms. Due to gross mismanagement, your government is always broke, even though the price of crude oil has consistently been well above budget estimates. While the payment of salaries and pensions have remained muddled up, including those of ex-servicemen, whose contributions have made it possible for you to solely claim a civil war hero’s status, your government engaged in hosting frivolous jamborees like the COJA Games, and CHOGM. Your deregulation and monetisation policies are definitely premised on very wrong assumptions, or/and sheer executive escapism.

Although you claim to be against corruption, Nigeria has sunk to the position of second most corrupt nation in the world for two consecutive years. Note that Nigeria was 27^th under General Abacha (GCFR). Even your foreign investor friends assert that over 50% of corruption in Nigeria occurs right inside Aso Rock Villa, Abuja. Your family may frequent the courts, trying to absolve itself of wrongdoing, but that would not change our impressions, Honourable Minister. Please note very well that Nigerians do not believe in your anti-corruption pretensions anymore. In fact, most ordinary Nigerians now find your sanctimonious exhortations as a plain insult to their intelligence.

The shabby treatment which you meted to the former acting Auditor-General of the Federation, Mr. Vincent Azie, for having the decency to assert his professional integrity, and the opacity of your privatisation exercise, all testify to the cynicism with which Nigerians regard your so-called anti-corruption crusade. In the few instances that your government has prosecuted people for corruption, they invariably turn out to be either members of the Abacha family, or your political opponents. Now, let us revisit your so-called heaven-assisted; miraculous re-emergence in the 2003 presidential elections:

Worldwide, even congenital idiots know too well that the 2003 presidential primaries of the PDP were characterised by stage management, financial manoeuvres, and coercion. Your nocturnal visits to PDP state governors, who were suitably pacified with bullion van loads of GMG bags, are well known by even premature babies in Nigeria. Contracts for capital-intensive projects are routinely signed indiscriminately in your executive bedroom, every night, at Aso Rock Villa, Abuja. Haba! Both local and international observers have flawed the 4/19 presidential election. And so, the mandate that you claim, is not the mandate of “we, the people”, as stipulated in the Constitution, or the Electoral Laws of the Federal Republic of Nigeria. The danger, which this precedent has set in the political history of Nigeria, will be obvious in the near future. If we accept the political philosophy of a fanatical member of the Obasanjo Praise-singers’ Cult (OPC), Dr. Fasheun, that rigging is no longer reprehensible, so long as the rigger has politically correct tribal marks, or the rigged is not a son of the soil, one wonders what kind of democracy you must be nurturing. As you know, it is easy to correct a child that makes a mistake, but realises his folly. However, an old man who does not understand, or stubbornly refuses to accept his mistakes, is dangerously incorrigible, more so, if such a geriatric is the imperial President, Commander-in-Chief, and Honourable Minister of Petroleum Resources of Nigeria. The tragedy is further aggravated when he seriously believes that his hardened foolhardiness is divinely approved.

Nigeria is fast degenerating into a one-man malevolent dictatorship: i.e. a predatory autocracy. It is now evident that a Nigerian must be in your good books in order to survive economically and politically in Nigeria. No Nigerian, no matter how talented, or hard-working, can be successful in business unless he/she sings your divine praises. While your dubious cronies are making a killing milking Nigeria to death, honest and hard-working Nigerians are being frustrated out of business. We are watching, with rapt interest, how a street urchin like Chris Ubah, your beloved Godson, is arrogantly brandishing his illiteracy in Anambra State, with your tacit support.

However, Mr. Petroleum Minister, I must alert you to the fact that when one continues to prosper despite their many crimes, they become reckless and heedless, since they attribute their seeming success to divine support and approval. Such persons are condemned to overindulgence. Buddhists call this process, Karma: What you sow is what you reap. There is a just reward for all actions, no matter how long it takes. Physicists call it Newton’s Second Law of Motion: For every action, there is an equal an opposite reaction.

Mr. President, Honourable Minister, and Commander-in-Chief, I beseech you to please return quickly to Olodumare, the Lord God of Owu. It seems you have parted ways since your expedited release from Yola Prison. Today, while Nigerians are suffering on account of your bad leadership, you are busy attributing your senile misrule to the good Lord, Jehovah, the God of Israel. Those of us who are able to discern, know that you are mistaking Lucifer for Olodumare. Sooner than later, Beelzebub will fight back, and consume you, bone-by-bone. But before that happens, it is incumbent on every patriotic and peace-loving Nigerian to seriously warn you to seek peace with Nigerians, as a matter of topmost priority.

May the good Lord, specifically the God of Abraham, deliver you from the Devil. Halleluiah! Praise the Lord. Amen. Once again, I wish you “continuity” in 2007 and beyond, Honourable Minister.

The “Cat-and-Mouse” battle continues.

Kòmbò Mason Braide (PhD)

Saturday, 20 February 2004 @ 2:56 pm.

Source:

1.     Umar, A.: The Devil Is It, Mr. President”; An open letter to Chief (General) Obasanjo (retired) by Colonel Abubakar Umar (retired); ThisDay Newspaper; Leaders & Company Ltd, Lagos, Nigeria; (Friday, 23 January 2004).